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I don't like him and I don't want him and he knows

11 December 2015, 18:32 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I always say that desperation is a really bad thing. Among the many things it can lead to one of them is pretense. Pretense in a relationship and I bet you 1 in three couples or maybe even 2 in three are pretending just because there was no or there is no other option for them.

Recently, a certain man asked me what was wrong with him. The reason he asked me this question was because he had asked to be in a situation…relationship with me and I really did not have to think about the answer I just said no. I told him I did not feel like being in one but I was lying. When you are single you have so many options and when the man or woman is your ideal, you will practically fall all over yourself to get yourself in their equation. But he wasn’t my ideal and at some point I might have thought that I could make it work with him but one taste and that man repulsed me. I just couldn’t. I cannot stand him and even the idea of having him as my baby father does not excite me at all. Was I going to be the woman that side that to him? No, I wasn’t I am not that cruel. I understand how fragile egos are.

Furthermore, I just cannot pretend where this man is concerned. People pretend. They pretend when it comes to looks; once you do the deed with someone you cannot go back and say, ‘Oh yea, I really find you very ugly. I cannot be with you.’ How?

Once you sign off to be in a relationship with someone you cannot outlining their negative traits and being a critic; you have already swallowed the pill. So when they ask you something it is up to you to boost their ego because they are now yours and it is either they walk with their head high or they limp.

But just I did not want him did it mean that I could ruin for the next woman that would actually want him, so I just gave him the answer that I did even though I know that he knows I am lying and he knows why.

If I was desperate I would probably push myself to be in a relationship with him but it would never be the satisfying and fulfilling or happy kind. I am not the kind to duck or not go anywhere with someone so that nobody knows; because that was the extent of that situation. I do not know how to pretend that I am happy with someone when I am not and they do not make me happy. Have a baby with someone, then dump them but still be ties to them for the rest of my life through that child. How?

The way people do it, that is very interesting and very inspirational in my way of thinking but this man was not coming near me. I knew he had the idea of trapping me in his head but it is never going to happen. I know how drinks and casual get-togethers work.  He is not seeing me.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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