I am cheating because he does it too
17 March 2016, 17:30
Nairobi - The above title is the dumbest thing I woke up to today. And
I thought, ‘aren’t you both looking dumb together then?’
Here is something that I need to tell ladies about men when
they are cheating, ‘When you decide to revenge, you are not hurting him and in
fact, you are the furthest thing on his mind.’ You are in fact disrespecting
yourself even more than he did. Your aim is not for your pleasure but for his
displeasure. Do you understand what I am saying? You are not getting anything
out of it.
If you took the pains to make sure he knew about it in a bid
to hurt his ‘feelings’, you have just made the situation worse for you. Let me
explain once again. Before, he might have been making the effort to hide it
from you to prevent a bad outcome like divorce or actually hurting you or
making you feel bad. But now, it is like you have given the guy a license to
continue with whatever he is doing. Now, he does not have to make the effort to
hide because he will now tell you, ‘Pot calling the kettle black.’ Now, he does
not have to worry about your feelings or disillusionment because you are
showing him that what was good for the goose is better for the gander as well.
When men cheat in hiding, they worry about you and the kids
but when you cheat openly for him to know; he does not have to worry about you
anymore neither will he worry about the kids. He loves the kids yes and he will
not worry about them because he knows you will move heaven and earth to make
sure they never know what their mother is up to. In order for that to work, you
will have to cover for him as well.
See how you just put yourself in a fix?
You will never be able to face your kids and tell them how
their father messed you up because you disrespected yourself as well. Now you
cannot use that excuse to shame him.
That is how women end up taking the blame for a failed
marriage from their own children because there are just some things the kids
can never know about.
When a man finds out you cheated-divorce!
When he finds out some man dropped you off from work-second
wife is about to come in and you bet she has always been around; or divorce
When he finds out that you blinked in the direction of a
colleague at a Christmas party-divorce!
So why is it for a woman, you cannot take the same clear
headed route but you have to complicate your life by finding a man to cheat
with, then organizing it, then making sure your husband finds out, then helping
him cover for himself from the kids and then still staying because now you do
not want to explain to people what happened with the marriage?
You just have to let a man know what he cannot get away with
while married to you. That is all. Just threaten his life and tell him, if he
ever dares he will lose some parts he holds precious. That very first time you
see a hotel receipt, don’t accept any explanations because that is him testing
your boundaries. If you are the type to just say okay to everything so that
your man does not get annoyed with your nagging, you will be in for it. If he
does not want any nagging, then he should play his part by not doing things
that will annoy you. Your husband should respect your boundaries; otherwise you
will never have peace.
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