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I am afraid of Kikuyu men

16 May 2016, 12:54 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I think I get misunderstood a lot but what people don’t know is that I always talk from my personal experiences.

Let me even start with my very good friend, I will even push it and say he is my best friend. Every time we would meet for drinks and I have mine and his cup is empty; I do get uncomfortable and go get him one. Then I will tell him he owes me and he would lie how he will buy next time. Like next time will never reach, and the story would be I am broke. At one point I nearly got annoyed then I noticed every time his girl was around she would buy her own drinks.

I thought she was being generous with herself then I noticed like he could buy her one then the rest of the night you are on your own and I was like, hmmm, so it is not me and I was back to being cool. If she wants food; go get your own food. If she wants to drink to death; you know it is from her own pocket. I was so happy I had declined a relationship there because I told him honestly, I would stress him and now I knew it would not have worked. My former girlfriends were out here buying their own drinks, I have never. If you take me on a date, you are buying, unless we are just friends.

Now to the Kikuyu men I date; this is a typical conversation between a Kikuyu man and his beau

Her: How was your day? Him: Why?

Her: Did you meet anyone? Him: Just a few people.

Her:  (now you are wondering is he just does not want to talk) was the day good and productive? Were they friends or business?

Him: That is not important. Her: What do you want to talk about then? Him: You just talk about anything. I am listening. (I don’t know how to have small talk so we would sit quietly in front of the television and just comment on a show here or there)

Eh; these guys never break. You will never know what he is doing, what he is up to or if he is rich, poor, idle or anything.

If you are dating a Kikuyu man you know you are not getting any good morning texts of checking up on you calls. He will call when he wants to see you. Texts are not those long conversations, if it is headed that direction, it will be, ‘Okay, Good day. I am busy.’ Your jaw drops because you are now wondering why your man is not treating you ‘nicely’. He is Kikuyu.

Those romantic scenes you see all over; if he is Kikuyu, check his ancestry, he is mixed with something else. Kikuyu proposals are like throw the ring type of proposals. If she wants to catch it or not that is her problem. ‘We have been doing this for a while, it is time.’ If you are waiting for bending knees and rose petals, ‘Girl, lol’. You better organize it yourself because he will not mind and if you think you are about to have tantrums; the Kikuyu man is the type that will beat you with silent treatment. He will not sit there with you, ‘Darling what is the problem?’ You will wait my dear. He will ask you if you want to be dropped off or if you are living together, he just does his own things until you get tired. If you don’t live together, don’t wait for apology texts you will be calling the man yourself. They don’t do emotional conversations. You see the way women complain that men don’t open up; they are the professors of that. You will be crying, sending emotional messages and whatnot, that guy will just stare at you if you are there or just not reply. Just go for Wafula and his misery. They do romance very well.

They also can do cold stares very well. This is why you can’t do small chatter box stuff with them. He will just stare at you and you will feel like the most stupid person in the world.

They also cut off women who are falling off the hinges very fast. Just misbehave and see. He will not try to control you; you will just get a text telling you not to contact him again.  (not that I have been there, too classy for that but I have seen it happen.)

If you even find out his job, it is the 9-5; everything else is hidden. His wallet, if he even has one, because that is also ‘showing off’ it will have 20 shillings in it and if you see a note it is the one paying for fare with no change. If you are at an M-Pesa, no extra withdrawal, the amount you need on a date or whatever is the amount that is coming out. If you see him walking with notes, it is going to some Sacco don’t lie to yourself you are about to go shopping.

Good things I have to say about them though;

A kikuyu well-to- do with the right screws man never shucks his responsibilities; not the other ones that are drunks. Like the normal guy, he will not compete with you on fees and your necessities at home. They take care of their responsibilities. That is why they are all about money and hiding it from you to overspend on your wants.

What else?

They are not afraid of relationship and commitment. That is why they marry faster than most of their counterparts. They are smarter in that; they marry now, sort that responsibility-family and children fast and not have retirement and pension issues. Your Kikuyu serious boyfriend will want to settle down faster than his other comrades. So you might not be wasting your time if you have been dating for a while.

Bad trend I have seen though, they are also starting to practice the side chick business.  This is why I am afraid of Kenyan men.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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