How to share your husband
29 August 2016, 11:32
Nairobi - I was being given advice by a man. Actually
what happened was I had just spent over three hours in stupid Nairobi traffic;
I get in the office at one and he says let us go for lunch.
I am always poor so
I make my financial situation clear. I was just like, I am broke and I had just
bought something to eat. He say I will buy, we were all like, okay, let us go!
I was the only lady and I do know how to get people to talk about themselves.
So these two men, whom both have wives start giving me relationship and
Someone told me that I should get ready to
share my husband at one point. Yes, it was said so matter of factly; a man with
a wife, meaning that he is doing it already or is planning to.
I can’t even share simple clothes with my
own sister and be at peace now imagine me trying to be comfortable with the
idea that I should accept at some point, my man will have to be unfaithful.
I told the men the same thing. There is
these laxity that has taken root among Kenyan men that even if you are married,
you are just married but you can still keep doing what you were doing as a
bachelor. The other man was agreeing with him as well, that marriage is one
shelf and his personal life excluding his wife is on another shelf.
They were telling me this after the guy
told us about one of his girlfriends who is also married whom he keeps seeing
when she is in town. So I asked in what way. He says extended friendship. Friends but with more.
To give me further advice he said I should
not marry a person I am crazy about. I just marry a friend whom I will not be
so possessive about because that is how a healthy marriage should work. So that
when such things come up, you are okay with them. He told me it reaches a point
in marriage, we all start saying how we are tired, don’t want to do some things
and we just become someone else. I asked him so what you are saying is, you are
okay with sleeping hungry and with a dirty house as long as you have sex. He
said okay but he had a smirk on his face meaning he was just playing his cards
for the moment. What happens in real life is something different as well know.
I threw a ball back at them and asked them
if what they were saying was they are okay if their wives still had their other
boyfriends since they are keeping their girlfriends. Apparently there is no
place a man can leave his past relationships, to put it out there in their own
words, ‘Where do you want us to take them?’ They all come with him but the
woman should cut all ties.
In their own words, this is when men pull
out the Bible by the way. When it comes to prayer and drinking, nothing but
just talking about concubines and polygamy, they will reference all the kings
especially the one that had 300 wives and 700 concubines. They pull out this
line, ‘Have you ever heard of bigamy in the Bible? It is punishable by death
but polygamy is allowed’. This is when men know the Bible very well. That is
what these two idiots were telling me.
At this rate, it just makes you fear
marriage if that is what people are actually doing because these is not a
fiction I came up with. These are two men who have wives but are openly telling
me that they are still sharing themselves around.
Then when they get disease and give you
Herpes and say sorry, sorry does not cure Herpes and Aids.
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