How to make a man do something for you
27 July 2016, 19:16
Nairobi - I hear my friend shouting at someone
through his phone so I ask him what is wrong he tells me, ‘My wife is not at
home. I was telling her, by the time I get there she should be in the house and
I should not find a padlock on the door.’
So I ask, ‘What did she say?’
In my head I am thinking that she must have
put up her own fight and told him how she will not entertain his nonsense.
She is a stay at home wife and he had
travelled, so she figured she can go stay with her sister since her only
responsibility was her son and she carried him with her.
He says, ‘She is on her way back. She does
not even know I am still at the office (he laughs amusingly) but she is
respectful and she does not argue with me when I tell her something.’
In my head I am already picturing myself
when a man is hustling me and he really did shout at her. When you shout at me
that is when I decide I am also going to be an idiot especially if you are calling
yourself my husband. Kenyan men call us ‘Hao
vichwa ngumu.’ (Those hard heads)
So I get the sense that this lady must
really be suffering.
He is a great guy so in my thoughts am
already deducting points. (He shouted
very loudly, the way you would at an errant child)
But he gets to a point and he starts
telling me how his wife is a bad cook. Women, relax, this is where it takes a
He tells me there are a lot of things his
wife cannot cook. Think apart from boiling water for tea or ugali that is the
best she can do. So he says, when I want to eat most things, I just cook them
When it comes to meat, stew or chapatti I
make it myself. When my wife makes chapatti I just have to ask her what those
black things, black patches are on the chapatti. She makes funny things.’
I ask him how his wife feels about it, he
says she likes it because I am helping her at the end of the day cook our food.
I cannot let my wife cook when I really want something nice. He says it is such
a way that is so funny.
This is why I tell you, find a spouse who
is your friend at least and you both have good communication. She did not get
mad that he said she was a bad cook. She appreciated the fact that when it
comes to some things, he just makes them himself.
Sometimes couples have big issues over such
small things. By the way, they are a very young couple.
Another thing I have learnt is you know you
have a good spouse when he castigates you but instead of going to find someone
else who can do it for him. He does it himself and shares it with you. Not this
other ones that will tell you, ‘she does it for me because you don’t.’
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