How to know your trapped the person you married
28 June 2016, 21:35
Nairobi - You are now married to someone, it has been
a couple of years since the wedding or since the both of you decided
‘come-we-stay’ was your thing.
The reality of your marriage rarely hits
people in the beginning until that moment the kids are growing up, in boarding
school, having their own lives and you realize that the two of you have a sort
of non-existent relationship. Love is a really cool drug that is too often
misused-it’s high is the best thing. It makes you forget and then maybe it is
not even love but lust, or money, or position and what not. Soon after settling
down, the kids comes in and take up all of your time and life right alongside
work and that is why when most people hit 40 and their kids are away; they look
at the other side of the table and see a stranger.
This is when couples start asking
themselves whether at one point they actually wanted to marry that person and
whether they ruined a better chance for themselves with the right person. That
is what you call trapped.
If you look at your spouse today in the
evening and cannot string two sentences to them about you or them- and make it
interesting; not about bills, work or kids and whatever family member-then the
both of you are trapped.
This is why mid-life crisis on both sides
exist and people start finding a purpose outside of their marriage because when
they go home, they no longer have the same things in common with this other
person. They no longer actually enjoy this person’s company. They do not want
to be around them but around other people. That is when loneliness hits you;
because you both trapped each other. This is why the most productive people are
the ones in their 40s+. They are finding a purpose in something that is not going
to disappoint them or remind them of what life ‘could have been’.
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