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How to know your trapped the person you married

28 June 2016, 21:35 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You are now married to someone, it has been a couple of years since the wedding or since the both of you decided ‘come-we-stay’ was your thing.

The reality of your marriage rarely hits people in the beginning until that moment the kids are growing up, in boarding school, having their own lives and you realize that the two of you have a sort of non-existent relationship. Love is a really cool drug that is too often misused-it’s high is the best thing. It makes you forget and then maybe it is not even love but lust, or money, or position and what not. Soon after settling down, the kids comes in and take up all of your time and life right alongside work and that is why when most people hit 40 and their kids are away; they look at the other side of the table and see a stranger.

This is when couples start asking themselves whether at one point they actually wanted to marry that person and whether they ruined a better chance for themselves with the right person. That is what you call trapped.

If you look at your spouse today in the evening and cannot string two sentences to them about you or them- and make it interesting; not about bills, work or kids and whatever family member-then the both of you are trapped.

This is why mid-life crisis on both sides exist and people start finding a purpose outside of their marriage because when they go home, they no longer have the same things in common with this other person. They no longer actually enjoy this person’s company. They do not want to be around them but around other people. That is when loneliness hits you; because you both trapped each other. This is why the most productive people are the ones in their 40s+. They are finding a purpose in something that is not going to disappoint them or remind them of what life ‘could have been’.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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