How to heal from a heart break
16 June 2016, 10:28
Losing an important relationship in is a tough and painful experience for all of us, especially if you thought that the good times will never end. It leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. One is left with a feeling of anger, rejection, loneliness and deep betrayal.
This is perfectly normal. However, the good news is that it doesn’t have to last forever. You can use the tips below to get back your groove and hopefully find true love again:
1. Give Yourself Time to Grieve
This is a key part of your healing process. You need to allow yourself time to grieve instead of jumping into another relationship called loving in rebound. Look for better ways to express your emotions. These may include the following: Crying about it, talk about it with a friend or counselor, pray about it to God. Confronting the pain allows the inbuilt healing mechanisms to release the toxic emotions from our system and allow healing. Suppressing the emotions of pain and hurt only develops into soul wounds and the toxins accumulate and deform one. It also hinders future healthy relationships because hurt people will hurt other people.
The human soul is able to endure more than we think possible. Time is the best healer. As we allow ourselves to be human and face the pain, its power diminishes gradually to a distant memory.
2. Give Yourself a Treat.
When people reject you, you need to work twice as hard on loving yourself. You need to compensate for what they were giving you instead of neglecting yourself as well. Many lose self-esteem and fall into victim-hood mentality. Without giving much thought to your well being, you concentrate on what went wrong and who was to blame. By so doing, you punish yourself unconsciously.
You need to do something to pamper yourself everyday like eating well and exercise, nice cologne and designer outfits. Be your own best friend as a first step to being accepted by others. Remember you are addressed depending on how you are dressed. Others can only love you to the extent that you love yourself and to be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others; accept yourself first.
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3. Surround Yourself With Healthy Support
The support and encouragement of loved ones is essential to your regeneration. You need to avoid negative people who judge you or old friends who only remind you of the past. Get new or positive friends who will see the greatness in you as a person without always referring to the past or your ex-partner. Focus on the positives that you were able to learn or experience and avoid over analyzing the past. Seek help of friends and family and don’t be isolated.
4. Participate in Meaningful Work or Service
They say the best way to get a friend is to be a friend to someone. As you help others, you get to be loved back and find significance in life. When you visit an elderly home, orphanage or do community service, you realize how fortunate you are. The void and loneliness is replaced with a purpose and you find many new friends who need you. Every morning you wake up in anticipation of a great day where you will put a smile on someone’s face. Service fills your heart with love and gratitude, and you come back with a new perspective.
As you get lost in serving others you may find love on the way, because what goes around comes around. We see in the beautiful story of the Hebrew bible, when Ruth had lost her husband, she helped her mother in law Naomi deal with her loneliness and old age challenges and in the process got herself a richer and better husband called Boaz.
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