How to find the right woman for marriage
17 June 2016, 07:24
You are a man who has celebrated his 30th birthday a few years ago and in a steady job; you meet this beautiful lady in a networking function and your mind becomes blank. You forget all the pick up lines you have been practicing and she notices your discomfort and offers you a knowing and welcoming smile that is both disarming and comforting. You manage to create a rapport and exchange numbers at the end of the event. As you drive home you wonder if it is the real thing or it will flop like the past three relationships that were financially and emotionally draining. You gain enough courage to pick your phone and call her and fortunate enough she remembers you and is still very warm and receptive. After a few dates, you seem to like what you are seeing. The thought of marriage begins to cross your mind. You begin to wonder if it is infatuation or the ever elusive requited or mutual love you have been seeking.
How do you know that this lady is the best for you and the one to be the mother of your children? The world is not a simple one that our grandparents lived in. You require the IQ of Einstein to find the right person for you. Every woman is marriageable because all women who want to be married were created by God to be married and be a help mate to someone. A wrong woman for you is like an oversize or undersize shoe; it is uncomfortable. To know the right woman for you, follow these steps:
1. Know who you are. If you can define yourself well, you will know the woman you need to help you carry your vision. Most conflicts in marriage come when people discover their calling later in the union and one party feels short changed. The lady accepted you because she wanted to be married by a banker or a teacher and now you have resigned to follow your childhood passion of running a matatu business and to add salt to injury, the business is not doing well! Conflict is inevitable in this situation. Discuss and get to explain to her your vision and read the body language and between the lines if she is excited about your baby.
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2. Write down the qualities you need. Long before you meet the lady, you need to have a preconceived idea of what you are looking for. This is important because the feeling of love or infatuation can cloud your judgement when you meet a new person. The excitement of the moment may hinder you from seeing the bigger picture. It is better to grow in love with someone who is useful for your vision than to fall for someone with looks and discover later that you have nothing in common. Good qualities for a lady involve: humility, teachable, honoring the hubby, love kids, submissive, God fearing etc. For you to demand high moral standards, you must be practicing them as well.
3. Take time to know each other. Take time to know each other. Don't rush to propose because she has answered your 10 questions correctly. If you stay with someone for 6 months, you are likely to know their true character than someone who spends only a weekend with them. Remember, you shall marry the character of the person. The body is just a container. The content is the character.
4. Involve friends and mentors. People can advice you but you are the one to decide. This is because you are the one to stay with the person. Wise mentors are able to see things that you cannot see because of blind love and they can bring them to your attention. Take advice seriously as the decision to marry someone is a momentous one. You are giving them power to affect you all of your life and so you must choose wisely.
5. Involve your maker. God is the author of marriage and can see farther than the wisest man or the mightiest prophet. Involve Him prayerfully until you have peace in your heart about the decision you are making.
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