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How to deal with a rebellious wife

22 June 2016, 07:59 Solomon Opala

Nothing is so devastating to a man as a wife who cannot follow his instructions and work with him in getting things done. A submissive wife empowers her man with her support to move ahead swiftly in leading his family.

With the blurring of traditional roles of provider and nurture occurring due to societal upheavals like the economic realities of two income homes or the wife earning more or being the sole bread winner, it becomes complex to determine who should wear the pants in the home. It is said that he who  pays the piper calls the tune. In our context, it would mean that the one who brings home the bacon dictates how it shall be cooked!

Another reason for more independent minded and contentious wives is the societal norms that are fast changing. Feminist crusaders have reached the shores of third world countries as well and are busy enrolling more women in their creed of hate and insubordination in the name of rights. It’s not uncommon for a mom to advise the teenage daughter to break up with her boyfriend if the guy isn't ALL about her. Many women come to marriage without a healthy understanding of submission and view it disparagingly as a curse word or worse a form of subjugation. They therefore resist any form of control from the man.

One mother says she feels sorry for her sons as she knows there are very few "real" women out there now. Some of the husbands I talk to would like to have answers more comprehensive answers apart from “love your wife” which they understand to mean to tolerate the same nonsense and sin pattern indefinitely, not to be firm with her so as to keep the peace and harmony and avoid her volatile reactions.

Read Also: Should you divorce a cheating partner?

Some ladies are naïve and blind, while others are cunning, playing the man like a fiddle. She gives him just enough fun, enjoyment, hope and sex to keep him baited, but has no intention of becoming a submissive wife who will allow him to take his God ordained place as the family head.

There are some possible solutions for the predicament:

1. Get her an older woman as mentor. A fellow woman who is older and wiser will be able to sit her down and show her how her bitching will not help anyone in the long run. Any girl can get pregnant without effort but being a wife calls for maturity and hard work. Loving one’s husband doesn’t come  naturally but a young woman can be taught and grow to be a loving and submissive wife.

Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine, but teachers of good. In this way, they can train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, managers of their households, kind, and subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be discredited (Titus 2:3-5).

2. Set boundaries

It’s important to talk and set boundaries on what is appropriate behavior and conduct in the marriage. Make master schedules on what everyone is doing 24/7. This gives way to occasional reviews to check progress and see if any of the two is meeting expectations and working to make the union work. There should be room for consequences and discipline. These days, many ladies feel that as adults, nobody should tell them what to do. This is wrong because we all need discipline in our lives.

3. Pray for her

Prayers for a spouse are a direct line to God. Nothing is as powerful as prayers of a loved one. It helps to see a rebellious wife not as an enemy but a child of God suffering from a troubled past or dealing with strongholds and spiritual bondage. The husband is supposed to be patient with her, love her unconditionally and make supplication for her. The Holy Spirit will break the spirit of a contentious woman faster than any blows, threats or  manipulation.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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