How to behave when you meet your ex
18 April 2016, 22:48
Nairobi - As a person with common sense, you will think that there is
no need for such advice. Normal people know that when a relationship ends and
you both move on (hopefully amicably) the normal thing to do is act like you
have never met the other person before. Is that mature? Yes, it is!
Why do we have to be so dramatic and pretend that we are all
going to be happy and cheerful that the other person moved on so fast or seems
to be enjoying themselves more? It does not mean that you care, what it means
is that you are a normal human being that hopes your ex is miserable without
you. Even if you have ten exes, you wish that each one of them looks back and
wishes they had never let you go. Stupid but true; even though you are the one
that probably messed up.
What you do not do as an ex
I have never understood what some people gain by this but
Keeping in touch with
Why? You have goodwill from them, they like you, they are
good to you but it did not work out. Why do you stay in touch? How does it help
you because it sure does not help you move on; calling them, attending their
functions, attending their events and the very worst cases: gossiping about
their new item? You make it so uncomfortable for someone to be around their own
family when you have your own.
How does it help you to know how wrong they are and how the
family dislikes them. Trust me, any person comfortable talking about other
people with you, will be comfortable talking about you with them. In the long
run, your ex will probably end up with their new item long –run while you hang
around hoping for more. Move on.
How to act when you meet your replacement
Don’t make things
This is why you don’t date in close quarters; when you break
ties, you totally destroy those ties. But some of you date colleagues and
partners and friends to your own family-so you meet up, eventually! Shake
hands-that is it; both of their hands, so that you do not look like you are
bitter. Shake hands and smile and say how it is your pleasure to meet them.
Most adults are actually children in grown people outfits.
So you want to be spiteful by isolating the conversation after you crush an
event that you are actually not meant to be in. You want to talk about that
time you went some place and had fun that the new beau will not be able to put
two and two together. You look desperate and stupid and make it uncomfortable
for people who are actually meant to be there. You will force them to force
their family to disinvite you. Talk about the weather; ask about their work,
and what they do and smile, then move sits to neutral ground. Don’t do
desperate things like forcing yourself on people of the opposite sex to show
your ex that you are having a good time. You re-affirm to them the reason why
they chose to move on without you, even if you are the one that ended it.
You do not have to lie
You don’t have to lie, how you moved on and you are now with
someone new. That is none of their business but if you feel the need to or find
yourself in a place where you have to talk about yourself. Just say that you
decide to focus on work or you are not in a hurry. Putting up a front is the
reason why a lot of ex’s end up rushing decisions in the form of rebounds with
wrong people and irreversible consequences.
You do not need all that. Just be honest,’ I am still
single. No, I have not found someone else. I am taking my time because that is
what I want to do.’
It is okay to check
them out and measure them on a scale
Self-righteous people will tell you they have never done it
but trust me, most people do it. You want to see if you are better or not but
don’t be that person that points it out or comments on things you should not.
You are not their business and they are not yours-move on!
Don’t be paranoid
No, they are not talking about you and if they are, what are
you going to do about it? Nothing! That moment after you walk away or they do
and you see one whisper to the other, maybe they are just asking if they should
use this street or the other one. Just
Don’t call or text the
As much as people delete numbers, we all still have them
crammed in our heads. That is just how it is. You do not go get drunk and write
them long poems and call them. Just move on and write
them off in your head. Chances are the new boo expects you to do it and they
are both waiting for you to do it. Your ex will show them the message or they
will listen to the call together. That is just human nature. For someone to
posture and show how they are the best thing to have happened to you so that
the new person knows what gift they
have. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Move on.
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