How to avoid 'fallacy trust' in long distance relationships
08 June 2016, 13:54
Managing a long distance relationship calls for devoted commitment and hard work, sometimes more than running a business.
In a business for instance, you build a network bound by rules and regulations, you break one and either get fired or prosecuted depending on magnitude of the unwarranted doing. But a long distance requires deep understanding and unequivocal trust. It's impossible to manage it with rigid rules.
For instance, you must respond to his calls whenever he phones. Take the example of a man in China dating a woman in Kenya. These two countries have a five-hour difference. China is ahead of Kenya in time. If he is thinking about her and calls at 6.30am his time, the sweetheart could be snoring in the 1.30am Kenyan time. It becomes a big deal if she doesn't pick calls thrice regardless of the fact that she is the type that sleeps like a log.
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There is something called 'fallacy trust' in long distance relationships: where you fake trust. You love her or him but are not sure whether you trust them. And so you keep behaving in a manner suggesting that you want a affirmation of trust. When he or she is around, you monitor their moves and attitude on the phone and their response to female or male friends or even workplace colleagues.
Trust is not physical, material or measurable. It's internal. It's freedom of choice. It comes with an attitude of respect and gratitude. It begins with an understanding and open communication.
When your partner expresses even the slightest sign of doubt, address it immediately. Let them know you feel blessed to have them in your life, and that draws respect which a critical virtue in trust within a long distance relationship.
He will know that despite the distance, my 'one and only' is entitled to me and will do what's right anytime every time. The same for the woman.
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