How the different paces in your life affects your overall relationship with a spouse and a partner
04 July 2016, 18:30
Nairobi - One of the major reasons that make up for a relationship coming to a halt is because the both of you will never progress at the same pace, outside of the relationship.
One person will always be ahead of the other. So I am here, my career is going fine, I have just started that second degree or some type of education that I wanted if not completed and my life seems conspicuously sorted out.
You would think that your partner will be happy and supportive; of course they will be, maybe even draw some encouragement from it but there situation has not been improving the way they hoped it would be. What happens is that, if you are ready to take it to the next level, they will not because they will feel like they are losing out on a lot. You have all that going on, while they don’t seem to have it together.
They will not be ready to take the relationship to the next level because they sense how consuming it will be and it will not leave enough room for them to do as much as you have. You will appear the winner while they look the looser.
It may cause some conflict in the relationship when you want to do something together and they have to remind you, you are side tracking them because you have it all figured out while they don’t.
Some relationships end up disastrous when the other person has no idea how to help other than words of encouragement and they get some blame. ‘After all I have done for you, you now cannot support me.’
Worst case scenario is when they keep failing and you try help pick up the pieces but their ego shows up to let you know they do not need you or the total opposite, their self-esteem takes a beating and you are the one that has to find a way to make them feel better-not easy!
In a relationship, from the beginning, each individual has to claim their own independence to fulfill themselves how they see fit so that they do not later on blame someone. Be there for each other but also don’t be there for each other. It will seem a good idea to help but that one time you are not around to solve their problems, it is you who will take a beating.
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