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How relatives kill relationships

17 January 2016, 12:32 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I am rarely a champion of people who are in my business, and who better to classify these other than relatives. I was reading a story about how a certain aunt decided to call her niece’s boyfriend and carry tales about what she was ‘apparently’ up to while he was away.

You know what caught my attention here was the fact that it was an aunt. Normally when it is your friend, we tend to understand because maybe she wants him for herself or she is trying to ruin you in his eyes because again, she wants him. That sort of thing, but an aunt; where is the gain for her in the whole scenario? Where is the loyalty? I know that maybe the woman might have been in the wrong in some cases, the one who is being told on that is, but shouldn’t the aunt be an advisor rather than the one helping in destruction. And how did she get his number? The mother, fine; the sister, maybe but an aunt; she must have gone through her niece’s phone.

Women keep complaining about how there are no good men around or the last one had a problem but at times you might just have had the best one but you allowed other people to come in and help ruin it. Women need to learn and watch the type of people they keep around them especially of the female variety.

Watch that one who comes and criticizes you in your home in front of your husband

She is always full of praise when the two of you are together. Telling you how much you have accomplished and what type of good mother you are. That sort of thing, she makes you secure in her words such by the time she is tearing you down, you look at it as her being good natured. The tearing down comes in when your husband is around, ‘why isn’t so and so (one of your children) paying attention to their father, you should caution them as their mother!’ Then you laugh it off saying... ’Aunty you know how kids for today are…’ hahahahaha.  Or ‘I did not teach you to make food like this, you should have done this instead, you need to learn how to cook better for your husband’. Now you, ‘hahahahahaha… I will do it next time or you can come help. I was tired today from work (then you smile)’.

Aunty failed in her own house, now she is coming to help you in yours. At times bitterness can be what is driving someone; watch the people whom you choose to bring around you because they will bring the same in your life.

The one who comes to visit and never foregoes to tell your husband a story or two from your younger days

Remember when you told your husband he was your second and only. Why did you allow your certain so and so to get so close with your husband because they have come to disabuse him of that notion? They will talk about the neighbor whom you said was just a friend. They will talk about the friend you introduced whom you did such and such with or when your husband points something out, she gives out a fake laugh that implies sarcasm. Now she is creating an illusion of how your marriage was founded on lies and distrust. That destroys everything and now makes him question you now more than ever. Every time you bring something up, ‘I can’t trust you; remember when you told me…’

The one you tell something to in confidence then they carry it back

It was meant to be something between the two of you. Then she waits when you are not around or while she is having an innocent conversation with him; she then drops the bombshell. Or the one who acts like she is trying to help and give advice but ends up spilling the beans, ‘Oh she never told you?’

There is only one rule that I will ever tell you as a woman when it comes to your husband or boyfriend, ‘Don’t let any women get too close to him.’ By women I mean those especially from your side. Some of you are wasting time on his friends, his colleagues; looking in the wrong pot. While your friend, sister, aunt or even workmate is eyeing him just while you are standing there because you apparently trust them.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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