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How my African mother taught me about relationships

13 September 2016, 20:04 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I love the Westernized culture. It actually assumes that children are people with feelings and a right to anything.

The only right that you have in any African home is the right to stare at the wall behind your parent’s head while they talk to you. You will also do it in a respectful way that they like not the one that you will assume they will like.

If my mother even dreamt that I was talking to a boy she would be ready in the morning to whoop my behind for that dream. That is if she even waited that long.

The only time that your parent would entertain you in relation with the opposite sex is when they were negotiating your dowry.

If you are walking on the road and a man stopped you a. they better be your relative b. they better be your relative or c. you had better be looking out for someone that is looking like your parent.

There was this one time I walked around our very own compound in my nightdress and there were building contractors on the opposite side of the road. The slap that I received is still etched in my memory. Trust me, in African homes, or in mine anyway, there is nothing like relationships or love. You imagine your husband when you get to that age and introduce him for marriage. There is nothing like dating.

That is what my mother taught me.

Unless you gave birth to yourself, there is nothing like child labour in your parent’s home. The fact that you even know the word labour is astonishing in itself.

Did I have a curfew?

What is curfew? The worst part is that I never boarded in campus.

In African homes you learn about relationships when you are married that is why our mothers were naïve. Thank heavens for technology because you have no idea how it has saved lives and distributed knowledge. Now I know all the type of excuses my man can come up with when he is trying to be shady. It is called information sharing.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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