How long to date before marriage?
02 March 2016, 15:32
Nairobi - Personally, that idea is very far-fetched according to me.
The only time that I tend to agree with it is when I am watching Disney. In
real life what we call that is lust at first sight or infatuation.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let us talk
about how long you should actually get to know a person before you decide to
commit the rest of your life to them.
If it was long ago, I think there would be less and less
people telling us how they dated for 6 months before they decided this person
was the one for them. That is why arranged marriages worked. Your people knew
their people and they were sure about their background in terms of how you
would be treated and how your children will be treated. They knew their parents
and their whole bloodline. Also divorce was not an easy issue.
These days’ people play around because they know if they
reach a certain point and got tired or bored;
you just split and go your separate ways. That is why a person will tell you,
‘we just dated for six weeks and I like them. They are better than the last
person.’ Marriage is no longer that big of a deal and in fact meeting of the
parents just happens like an after-thought. ‘Oh, we need them for a wedding. I
guess they should come. It will look really nice if they are around.’
You have no idea about where this person comes from. Maybe
you do not even really care and we are just thinking forward. In case of a road
block, just dump the person on the side of the road and keep it moving.
It is rarely a matter of days months or years but a matter
of what you need to know and if you actually know it. Not the truth they choose
to give to you but the one you figured out by listening to them, watching them
and of course snooping around.
If I wake up and tell you I work a s a retailer. I get up
every morning and come home at the end of the day. You never follow up because
you believe me. Who is to say I am not really lying to you. If I see you are
not that really interested, I can just make up a story about basically
everything; where I grew up, what I do, what I did in Campus-if I even made it
to Campus and if I am a virgin and I have never been with anybody else. This is
the reason why I am a snoopy person because I have learnt that for a lot of
people, it is easier to say a lie than to tell the truth.
What do you know about your spouse and are they really
honest with you about it? Do you even know them or you just turn a blind eye
because it is easier.
Before you marry someone, make sure you know all the
relevant stories that you need to know about them. You do not want to wake up
one morning and realize that the person you rushed off to marry was all a make
believe. By the way, you can know someone for years and not actually know them.
You two were just dating, meeting on the odd days and worst case scenario is if
you never even lived with them. That is the one pro of living together as a
couple-you learn the other person. When you decide to marry, you get no
surprises unless they were pretending.
Date for as long as you can or as short as you want but make
sure you know the person that you commit to, their family, habits, beliefs and
tendencies. It will make it easier for you to stay married to them and actually
make it work.
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