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How friends will influence the type of relationship you land up with

31 May 2016, 17:07

Nairobi - I have a friend but she has another group of friends but here is the deal. I think she does not want to be with her current boyfriend because she is more concerned about how they feel about him.

I had not talked to her in a while but when we met I sensed the reserve about the whole situation.

The man thinks they have a relationship, little does he know she is trying to convince herself she is already bored. So I meet the guy and he is great but you can just tell she is already coming up with excuses as to why she does not want anything to do with him.

All her friends are in relationships by the way but I think they would appreciate it more if she chose someone according to what they like and not what she wants or likes. So I am here trying to convince my friend not to be stupid but it is headed in that direction.

Why would you choose a relationship based on what your friends want and not what you want? Women, we do really have problems and they are the ones that we create by ourselves.

You want to please your friends more than you would like to please yourself. You want them to be comfortable when you bring someone around them yet that person might not even be your type. If they say we all like bad boys, and you don’t, you rush off to get one and forget the frustration that is coming with him.

You want to have a boyfriend or man that will be able to blend in with your friends so that there is no uncomfortable silence when you bring him around. Otherwise, the other option is not to include him in anything. I think that is the predicament my friend is in; her and her group like certain things while the new man is in the other hemisphere when it comes to enjoying himself.

He was explaining to me how he took her out of town for a trip just the two of them and she spent the whole time complaining because that is not what they do. She has a comfort zone and if he wants to continue sticking around, he better adjust to it.

Choose a man that you know pleases you. Good friends will adjust to what makes you happy. Bad friends will make you feel bad about it and frustrate you. They will be there to console you but what for? Isn’t it just better if they do not need to console you in the first place?

And that is how you end up with a bad experience or bad marriage you could have avoided if you had just done what you want and not what others want. My friend is putting this guy at an arm’s length and he does not even know it. He thinks they are building but she has other plans of her own. 

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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