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He asked me for money, I refused

07 December 2015, 14:47 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - " My money is my money, and your money is our money.’’ That was the female phrase for women in relationships before the men decided to jump on that too.

I will say there is nothing wrong with helping out around the house; but see, I said the house. That means he is your husband or long term live in boyfriend. That means he is as committed to you as you are committed to him. As far as I am concerned those are the only men allowed to taste a woman’s money; men that are committed to those women and work hard for her.

The rest, as a woman, to another woman who might be getting swindled, don’t give a man money. It is that simple. You can pay for the odd date, the birthday, a special treat; here the transaction is very direct, it is directly from your hand and straight to the register. Not your hand, his hand and wherever it actually going to.

On Saturday, I was just chilling in the house, minding my own business, reading a book and doing my hair; then I get a text from some man. It says hi, but since I had lost my phone, I had no idea who it was and I proceed to ask. So I know him, he had tried his dating on me, I did not like it so I dumped that situation. He was every stingy, didn’t care that I tried and was just about calling with no proper arrangement; I dumped his ass and didn’t speak to him again.  But see ever since that time I had never heard from him and now he texts me with a sob story about needing ten thousand shillings from me because he was in jail. See this story was told from Saturday to Sunday, via text, so what jail is that, in Kenya because Kenyan jails do not even allow you to go in with shoes leave alone a belt. I want to go there when I am arrested because it seems they will let me keep my phone and text people.

He was lying and the thing is he took me for a fool to try and swindle some money from me. This fool had told me how he was about to get fired for his big mouth, seems he forgot. It also seems someone was short on rent money or he was trying to make me pay for a situation he must have had with another woman. I sat there and wondered if I should reply, I knew if I did not he would keep texting me and ruin my reading and I would think someone important was trying to reach me, so I just sent something simple. No need for a great explanation, he is not my anything and I did not care what he was up to if he was actually arrested, ‘sorry, I do not have that kind of money on me. Bye’

You see this is why I am cautious and where most ladies go wrong, a guy is creating a smoke screen for you and you do not see it. And because you are feeling emotional and in love you fall for it yet the man is a total douche bag and treats you badly. You give him the money because you are thinking now he will appreciate me, he will now see me and my love and remember me for coming to his aid. I am not the Red Cross, Mercy Corps or the UN; in fact the only people who are getting my volunteer work are children in orphanages and hospitals. The same rule should apply to any lady, bail a man once and trust me, you will never stop. He will keep swinging your way, using you and when he is done, go back to the lady love whom he wants not to know about the shit he is in.

He cares how she sees him, and not how you see him. He does not give a shit if you think he is shit as long as you give him what he wants then he disappears until next time. That should tell you how much respect he has for you as compared to the other people, women in his life.

You want to tell me with all the friends he creates time for, the family he goes to visit every weekend (I know this man’s family is sort of well to do); they all could not come and bail him out for ten thousand shillings? Big whoop! 

Fall for that lady and let me tell you, your common sense has officially fled. There was no jail this man was in. If you want to bail some man out let us say a boyfriend, it is simple, he will tell you, ‘Hi, I am in Kilimani, there is a problem. Come see me or bring this amount.’ See here, you are actually going to see evidence with your own eyes that the fool got arrested. Not this one sending a text telling you to send a direct deposit; if you ever dare, blame yourself.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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