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Don’t get married to someone you don’t understand financially

22 June 2016, 16:41 Shakilia Alivitsa

Nairobi - That is the honest truth. We all take money issues very lightly because we tend to assume that we have other things to think about when it comes to marriage other than money.

If you have never had the money talk with your partner, you should. That is just the way it is. Running away from it or hiding from it or pretending like it does not exist only creates more problems. That is what I mean when I say someone you understand financially.

That is why a wife will be bitter five years down the line when the situation is still the same or not better. She hopes for more, does not say it but hopes the man is thinking the same. He might actually not.

At times, the roles shift in a relationship when one eventually earns more than the other. Does not have to do with gender or anything but when you earn more, the more you have to take care of. But that is not how it essentially works. An African woman (or some women) will tell you, ‘…but aren’t you meant to be the provider?’ Yet you know she is getting more than you are. Soon enough she becomes resentful because you are not doing what is expected of you. If she does not understand, it will create a rift in your relationship. Heaven forbid you lose your job then because now you cannot even tell her anything.

You have to envision any eventuality for your relationship to work and to avoid drama and confusion. You have to say who takes care of what and when they can’t what should happen. If you don’t want to share your money, you need to let someone know so that they get where you stand. If you expect something or change in the future, then say it. But do not keep quite so that you give a completely different impression and be mad when it does not go your way.

That is what they mean when they talk about values in a relationship. It cannot all be about children and family but money counts as well.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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