Do you know who you are dating?
05 February 2016, 11:36
Nairobi - While getting to know someone, it is always best to just
keep it neutral. There is no need for you to make promises or have high
expectations or think what is going to happen after this. Worst decision ever; trust me!
Like I always say, you never even actually really know
someone until you live with them. That is one of the few pros of come we stay.
That is when the real monsters come out-when you share personal space. Then there also those ones that decide to
wait until you make it official-when they have gotten you hooked line and
sinker; they dash the line, ‘Love me for who I am or leave me!’ Now you can’t
leave because you have paid for that wedding or dowry or all that investment in
terms of decisions and you will feel the pinch. They also know it and that is
why they do not care anymore.
In relationships, dating and even marriage, think before you
say that you will do something because the other party will never forget and
that is how most couples end up with built up resentment and bitterness.
You do not really know
them until you have them
It is that blurred line while you are dating called
boundaries or until you have someone as your wife and husband and they can now
show their true colors. As you get to know them more and more you start
noticing those little things that you might not have noticed before or chosen
to ignore because you thought it is not that big of a deal. The violent nature
in display, a tantrum here and there-the first time it happened you thought,
they must have really been hungry that is why they were mad at the waiter.
Until you notice that it is slowly becoming directed at you. Now you question
if you really want to spend forever with that person and you really want to
retract the idea of marriage.
But now there is a problem; they are waiting for marriage
but you no longer want it with them. Do you reconcile yourself to it or you
jump ship before you sink with it? You have to be really careful of the
partners you choose and what you are ready or willing to give them. Don’t
promise marriage to a girlfriend or boyfriend until you have read them fully.
Just dig out their worst personalities now and figure out if you are ready to
deal with it forever.
What about promises
Just don’t do it; if you know you do not want to do
something then just don’t. Saying you will do it and constantly looking for
ways to get away from it will cause friction in that relationship.
If you do not want to pay something for your better half’s
family because you can’t or don’t want to-then don’t say you will. You will end
up suffering every time they bring it up and you look disinterested. If you do not want to add to your expense for
something you know is not really worth it, then say so.
Marriage these days works like a bargaining chip. Do this
for me, I do this for you. If you do not then I also don’t do my part. It is
sort of like blackmail actually and failure to do so-no conjugal rights, silent
treatment, being ignored in your home and whatever else you and your wife or
husband are doing.Just know the person you are dating and establish boundaries
when it comes to this. Talk about what is acceptable from what is not. Don’t
think someone will change their mind because marriage is a holy grail, it is
not. People maintain personalities and character.
For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.