Do women complain too much?
14 January 2016, 14:17
Nairobi - Recently, I told you about a female friend of mine and her
daily habits when we go out with people (read: men). At first I thought, okay I
don’t know what I thought it was but even while we were unemployed and not
having that much money to spend she would always argue. We would always be with
our friends, the aforementioned company of men and they would offer to pay.
Thing is, no matter how small and petty the issue, there would be a tag of war.
We would go for a drink, lunch or just something when we were together and
alone we would split. But when there was a guy around and he took the tab she
would grab it out of his hand and make a show of wanting to pay half. Cab fare,
dinner, anything it would always end in an argument but then the guy would end
up paying. At times I felt like I was lacking in manners because I would be
like, ‘Thank God, let him pay; I could do with the savings!’ In other words I
would always be happy then she would ruin it because now I also had to chip in.
In other words am not even sure if half of the time she
really wanted to pay or she was trying to make a show of the independent woman
yet they knew we were jobless.
My friend is the perfect example of a woman who is not sure
what she expects from a man but at the end of the day will still find something
to complain about.
If a man is being courteous just let him; there is no need
to have an argument over a ten second action
The man/ men were not being courteous because they had any
romantic illusions; they had women. They were being courteous because they knew
we had the money but still unemployed and they are the ones who had asked us
out knowing all these full well.
Read also: Why mind-blowing sex won’t get him to commit
As a woman; down the road the same person will not make the
offer again and I saw it with my friend and her other circle of friends. They
had gotten so used to her antics that they barely offered. So now she is mad
that they did not offer. Down the road you always get what you bargained for
from the beginning.
You pull out the 50-50 card in the beginning of the relationship,
that is what you will always get then you get tired and say, ‘He does not even
treat me like a woman but his equal.’ What? He is treating you the way you
showed him you want to be treated from the beginning.
I am a pragmatist and if I know my situation; I will not lie
to you to put up some false pretences which is what most women do then complain
later because they are not getting what they desire. I am not going to pretend
I have money when I don’t and I am not going to pretend I feel really bad when
someone else picks up the tab am normally busy doing a jig in my head. If a man
reimburses me for my effort to go see him, I will not lie, I take it and he
wins an appreciation card from my books. I pay cab fare to, he pays for me to
go back home; am not sad, I am happy!
If a man pulls a seat for me, I will sit down and say thank
you and not start asking whether he thinks I am too lame to do it myself. If
someone opens the door, it is not because they are trying to look at you,
at times someone is just opening the door because he thinks you are a lady and
he should treat you as such.
Feminism is cool but be a practising one not the type that
wakes up today and tomorrow changing their mind about it. ‘Let me pay for
dinner.’ He says okay, at least let me split. Then she gets to her girls and
the story is, ‘Can you BELIEVE,
….imagine he made me pay. Just imagine the gall! I am so not calling him
again. I don’t need that negativity in my life.’ If you did not want to pay,
don’t make a pretence of wanting to do so.
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