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Do women complain too much?

14 January 2016, 14:17 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Recently, I told you about a female friend of mine and her daily habits when we go out with people (read: men). At first I thought, okay I don’t know what I thought it was but even while we were unemployed and not having that much money to spend she would always argue. We would always be with our friends, the aforementioned company of men and they would offer to pay. Thing is, no matter how small and petty the issue, there would be a tag of war. We would go for a drink, lunch or just something when we were together and alone we would split. But when there was a guy around and he took the tab she would grab it out of his hand and make a show of wanting to pay half. Cab fare, dinner, anything it would always end in an argument but then the guy would end up paying. At times I felt like I was lacking in manners because I would be like, ‘Thank God, let him pay; I could do with the savings!’ In other words I would always be happy then she would ruin it because now I also had to chip in.

In other words am not even sure if half of the time she really wanted to pay or she was trying to make a show of the independent woman yet they knew we were jobless.

My friend is the perfect example of a woman who is not sure what she expects from a man but at the end of the day will still find something to complain about.

If a man is being courteous just let him; there is no need to have an argument over a ten second action

The man/ men were not being courteous because they had any romantic illusions; they had women. They were being courteous because they knew we had the money but still unemployed and they are the ones who had asked us out knowing all these full well.

Read alsoWhy mind-blowing sex won’t get him to commit

As a woman; down the road the same person will not make the offer again and I saw it with my friend and her other circle of friends. They had gotten so used to her antics that they barely offered. So now she is mad that they did not offer. Down the road you always get what you bargained for from the beginning.

You pull out the 50-50 card in the beginning of the relationship, that is what you will always get then you get tired and say, ‘He does not even treat me like a woman but his equal.’ What? He is treating you the way you showed him you want to be treated from the beginning.

I am a pragmatist and if I know my situation; I will not lie to you to put up some false pretences which is what most women do then complain later because they are not getting what they desire. I am not going to pretend I have money when I don’t and I am not going to pretend I feel really bad when someone else picks up the tab am normally busy doing a jig in my head. If a man reimburses me for my effort to go see him, I will not lie, I take it and he wins an appreciation card from my books. I pay cab fare to, he pays for me to go back home; am not sad, I am happy!

If a man pulls a seat for me, I will sit down and say thank you and not start asking whether he thinks I am too lame to do it myself. If someone opens the door, it is not because they are trying to look at you, at times someone is just opening the door because he thinks you are a lady and he should treat you as such.

Feminism is cool but be a practising one not the type that wakes up today and tomorrow changing their mind about it. ‘Let me pay for dinner.’ He says okay, at least let me split. Then she gets to her girls and the story is, ‘Can you BELIEVE,  ….imagine he made me pay. Just imagine the gall! I am so not calling him again. I don’t need that negativity in my life.’ If you did not want to pay, don’t make a pretence of wanting to do so.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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