Do I want to depend on a man?
11 July 2016, 14:35
Nairobi - Some lady was asking if she can get a husband at 45. I think Janet got married at 50 or something but oh, the men and their nasty opinions.
‘She probably wasted her life chasing after tall, dark and handsome.’
‘She must have thought all her sponsors would live forever.’
‘She was choosy and picky.’
You know the like. Have you ever actually thought that at times it has nothing to do with you and your gender? How about she was just not ready because I am not ready. Not because I am afraid of commitment or …maybe I am. The point is when she was young she knew that it was not time for her to settle down.
‘It is her prime yes but what good will that do for you when you have no identity for yourself and totally depend on someone because those are my reasons. I think it was the same for her as well. She knew she had to have her own career and money before she went and started popping babies with some man.
That is really my reason. Not because I want to stunt on him but because I have seen how men treat women who totally depend on them and no one else. It is not all dandy and fine.
In the beginning, he will be that charming, nice boyfriend or husband that you like. If he is your husband he will encourage you to even quit your job and raise the kids. But just wait until that day you start asking for money for your needs. You will slap yourself so hard after a time.
‘Other women are doing things out there and your work is just sitting around waiting on me.’
‘Why can’t you start a business? Why can’t you try being somebody?’
Ehe! That is when you bite your tongue as a woman and really think. You hear another woman being scolded like that and the last thing on your mind will be trying to rush off with some man because he is whispering love.
When it comes to most men’s money and a woman depending on them, most men these days don’t want to be providers. That love goes out of the window and is replaced by snide comments.
It changes someone’s attitude towards you, their respect for you and the way they just treat you generally.
That is why smart women are saying, yes, I would like to settle down but not until I have myself figured out. You do not want to depend on a man like that, because he changes and most young women of today have realized it. That is why, we are trying to be self-reliant first and then maybe think if we want to have a husband.
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