Divorced but want to start dating
18 May 2016, 16:45
Nairobi - Considering most of you young folks are
going to marriage like trick or treat, you need this. Today you feel like you
are in love, the next day they are apparently
not the one. By the time some of you are done, I don’t know how many divorces
you will have had.
Meanwhile, for the people that actually
tried with one partner and it did not work, it is not the end of the world. You
can try again, even you the women, it’s not men alone that were born to have
fun. In most African societies, a lot of women after a failed marriage are
guilt tripped even by their own friends to a point that, even though she is
amazing, she will choose a lonely life because someone told her someone of her
age should not be running around.
I am talking about the mature woman not you
young ones who pick and drop things like it is a game.
Anyway, there are some things you cannot do
on the first date especially when it comes to talking.
talk about your former husband/ wife
I am not saying that you hide the fact that
you were formerly married because they will ask. Your answer should be simple and direct. For
example; ‘I was married, we were no longer able to go on with it. So we decided
to end it.’ The end! Then ask them, ‘So what is your favorite…’ ; to move the
conversation to something else so that you do not get caught up when they keep
asking. That is information for someone who is really serious about being in a
relationship with you.
start dating if you are not ready
This is a test; how will you know you are
not ready? When you go on the first date and the only thing that you are
talking about is what someone did to you, how bitter and miserable your life is
or was because of them, you are not ready. No one will want to start healing anyone.
People date because they are trying to move on not be part of some drama in
your past life. Also; it shows that you are not over it-that is called baggage.
get attached too fast
A broken marriage is normally due to the
bad things that happened that it did not work. So when you meet a very nice
person, luckily, and they treat you so nice. In a way that you had forgotten;
you will get stars in your eyes. They might even treat you better than your
spouse ever knew how to. You need to gauge their intentions towards you before
you get too attached and start thinking you are in love. Let the situation lead
itself, give it time and when you know where it is heading maybe that is when
you can get emotional. Maybe!
will have to re-learn how to have another person in your life
If they are serious about you, do not make
the relationship about you. It is not only you who has problems, it is not only
you who has things going on-they do too! You will have to re-learn how to have
someone else in your life-you are used to your children and the former spouse;
you will have to learn about this other person as well and include them.
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