Dealing with your controlling partner
21 July 2016, 19:07
Nairobi - A relationship where you feel controlled is
first of all not a healthy relationship.
It is a form of abuse by the way no
matter which way you choose to look at it. Maybe as pleasing your partner or
they do things for you at times- whichever way, it is still a relationship you
are yet to realize you are being misused. Relationships should make you feel
nice, comfortable not miserable and cautions.
everything they ask is feeding into their behaviour
You do whatever they want to avoid
arguments or confrontations but that is not the way to help the situation. You
have to put your foot down sometimes on things you cannot compromise on.
Let them hear the word ‘no’ from you once
in a while before it gets out of hand. It starts out small and that is how you
end up in a marriage where you are not an equal but looked down upon.
you cannot do it on your own then you really have no place reading this
Controlling relationships begin where one
person is very obviously dependent on the controlling one. Maybe they are the
ones that take care of them-give them money for their needs. They are the ones
that cater to the household, take care of your family, the children and maybe
they are the ones that have given you your livelihood. Do create the gap that
you need you need to move away from that dependence. Make it early in the
relationship, o not wait for last minute, later on in life. Your partner needs
to respect you in order or them to listen to you.
Controlling partners don’t want you doing
certain things, seeing certain people or being somewhere doing something
without them. So you lie because you still want to do it as it is something
that you like; that is a wrong move. They usually catch up to you and it makes
them feel right to do what they are doing. You need to be yourself in your
relationship otherwise it becomes burdensome being in it. If you matter to
them, they will adjust themselves to what you want. If they don’t then maybe
you should not be with them.
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.