Dating is no longer fun
13 January 2016, 15:25
Nairobi - Dating these days is no longer fun. You no longer go in
thinking, ‘I might like this person, let me see where it goes.’ But, ‘I know
you want something from me, let me find out what it is.’
Someone just wants something from you, until they get it and
move on to the next conquest. This is the Nairobi experience because I cannot
speak for the rest of you other people.
I was in campus with a certain girl/woman-take your pick-
and she was dating her fellow classmate throughout the four years. But before
we graduated, what do you know, a foreign student studying piloting came along and
wooed her. Guess who won! The conversation throughout that
whole relationship while I knew her was, ‘but he is going to be a pilot’ or ‘…I
am soon going to be travelling the world!’ Feeling bad for my fellow classmate,
the now ex to the girl/woman, I tried to dissuade her but I as usual came out
looking wrong like I wanted a piece of her prize; so I just let sleeping dogs
lie. She got pregnant and is now about to get married, she is just 23. How long
will that marriage last? She has yet to experience life and its hardships. I have to hand it to her; I did not know she
was that smart. Like really and that brings me to my point; couples are just
with each other to get something out of the other person and not because they
might actually want to be with them. Love is grown from the wants fulfilled.
Are you getting my point?
These days couples are
not cohabiting because they are on the road to get married but because, ‘this
man has a good job; I can pay for my fare and he can handle the rest!’
A man likes you so you do not sit and think about where it
might lead with that relationship but you are looking at the accommodations,
and how close to your work place they are. So you decide, it’s just sex anyway.
Let me live with him until I can set myself up because she already knows he
will not make her pay the bills while he is still trying to impress her. The
man has no idea about your plans and is busy planning about his future life
with you; until she drops the bombshell about finding better opportunities and
moving out next month. That is what heartbreak to a man looks like.
The men are not to be
left behind either
You know, I try to go out of my way and give every man
credit for being a man and not be judgemental before I get to know him but it is
so hard in Nairobi. I don’t check if you came in a car or on foot. I don’t
judge your clothes but hygiene and I will not ask what you do on the first date
but listen to what some boy/man asked me while on such a date. ‘Si, you can be my sponsor then?’ I have
no idea even where to start with this one. Like it is men like this that create
the she-devils that you come across because after such conversations dates like
this you are just like, ‘not again Satan, not again!’ That is how women are
becoming very hard about not allowing men to exploit them and choosing the
already made men. You do not want to be with someone touting how he wants an
independent women but not because you are that but because he wants to eat from
you as well. We want men just to be men just like you want women to want you
You are with someone
because of what they can do for you and your career
These days everyone has a business card, a mechanics will
read, An Automotive Engineer, Specialist and Consultant. All women these days
are brand ambassadors/ PR managers (read on social media) and Marketers, where
and for whom? So when someone asks for your card, you are thinking you have
them cinched until you realize you have just played each other. Well played,
until you do it for so long with each other. So you think you are getting some
fancy manager and rush him or her to the altar. Have a toast to your life
together when you eventually realize the truth.
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