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Choosing between two men on whom to settle with

07 June 2016, 20:34 Shakilia Alivitsa

Nairobi - You have been seeing two guys (unless you are seeing five hundred people, in which case we cannot help you), and they both seem like they have the qualities that you desire in your partner. I don’t think polyandry has caught on so you cannot have them both.

You need to decide on one and as much as you think they are both amazing, there are things that make one more what you need than making them both what you want.

One has to have been more committed to you unlike the other

They were more committed towards the relationship while the other one still chose to see other people. I am hoping that you were all open enough with each other and you let them know that you were still trying to decide. If you were that open then there should be one or both who told you they were going ‘to do them’ as you are.

Eventually you will be able to tell the one that was more attentive and committed to making this work while the other still had more options out there. The latter is the one that you should let go of and the former is the one you should choose as a partner. That type of commitment does not come easy especially when you know someone is seeing other people. If you pick the last guy, he will eventually just tell you he was still seeing other people and your novelty has faded.

You need to have deal breakers

You know those that we are told that we can compromise on while we are still searching? So you forget about them because it makes sense to be open minded. This is the time to take them out and you will find that it is easier to make a choice that will help you have a healthy and satisfying relationship.

Be able to distinguish the pros and cons of each of their qualities; find out whom you are compatible with.

Write them down if possible and they will help you make a better decision as to whom you are more compatible with.

Who gets along more with everybody else; friends, family and the people generally in your life?

It will make you work easier. We all like to think that other people are not in a relationship with us until we are actually experiencing this. If they do not care for, want to mingle or even relate to the people closest to you, that is a major deal breaker.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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