Broke men should avoid dating
20 January 2016, 15:52
Nairobi - If you are broke as a man, I think there are just a couple
of things that you should avoid doing that will help you avoid stress and
anxiety. Most of the time, the troubles you have are usually self inflicted.
I know someone, okay, I do not personally know him but we do
have a mutual friend who told me of this man’s resolution which I have to admit
is pretty great. This is not like the kawaida
New Year resolution but one he came up with immediately after he got a job two
years ago. He started off with one of those banking jobs where you starting
salary is around KES 20K and after tax you are left with around KES 17-18K.
He was lucky enough to come from a family that owns a building so he really
does not have to pay rent and this is in Nairobi. You can imagine with the
amount you are left with after fare; you cannot do much really except save a
little here and there. But what bright resolution was I talking about? Having a
woman in his life; he chose not to have one. He decided that he was going to be
single up until he gets where he needs to be.
What does having a woman have to do with anything? Are you
still confused? WOMEN-ARE-EXPENSIVE!
I am a woman, why would I say something like that? Because I
am one and I have been in a relationship so I know what it takes to keep us
There is the dating
that you have to think about
Most women do not want to come to the house and even if they
do come to the house, she will still expect some treatment. Either you are
buying dinner or making dinner. You have to take her out on a date to have a
drink and you have to take her somewhere to eat a meal. She will not want to go
to any kibanda and neither will she
like to swill beer with the rest of your buddies.
It can happen once in a while but she will want a bottle or box of wine. If
not, she will want that whole box of Delmonte
that I am sure costs more than your beer. Dating and having a girlfriend is not
Then while you are in
a relationship, you cannot stuff her in a closet and get her out when you feel
She would like the special treatment while she is with you
so that she feels like she is not with you wasting her time. She has to be
constantly reminded that you treasure her and value her. What does this mean?
No cheapness on her birthday or any day she feels like it should be an
anniversary. You have to remember it and act accordingly; a dinner here, a gift
there and oh, she has always wanted to go to some place in Kilifi-you better be
making arrangements. Your woman won’t want to be spending all weekends at home
because she is apparently being supportive and being by your side. She will
want to go out on odd Saturdays and wake up to have breakfast-not maji ya Sturungi but tea and bread and
all the works. GIRLFRIENDS! She will not want to struggle in the rain after a
night out or in heels in matatus; you better figure out a taxi and how you will
pay for it. If you were alone on the other hand, you could sleep at the bar for
all anyone cares.
She wants to be able
to say you bought her that handbag or shoe while you were just walking in the
She wants to say how amazing you are and how you surprised
her all of a sudden when you saw her longingly look at some fake Louis. You are
amazing. Do this twice in a month and already 8k on a bag, shoe or both at the
same damn time is gone.
If she is in trouble,
you are in trouble
If she sleeps over you have to figure out her bus fare at
times. You have to help her when she slips up. When your girlfriend calls and
tells you she is hungry at lunch, at work, you better not say, ‘Even I darling,
I am so hungry. We will survive this!’ She is calling so that you can figure
her out not commiserate. Your stomach is manly, it will survive. Lunch is not a
hundred bob either. If the colleagues are going to Java, how much do you think
you are sending?
So young man, do you not agree with my friend or you still
think having a girlfriend is a bright idea? Just imagine how much you would be
saving, my friend’s numbers are quite good. You are asking me about he caters
to his baser needs? That is a story for another day but I am sure you already
know what I mean. Get your job and get your priorities right. Figure your life
out before you clutter it. If I see you trying to chase me, I would rather tell
you that your energies are focused in the wrong areas and they should be
This is why I do not date young men. I would rather not be
the reason someone’s son is struggling to make ends meet.
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