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Broke men should avoid dating

20 January 2016, 15:52 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - If you are broke as a man, I think there are just a couple of things that you should avoid doing that will help you avoid stress and anxiety. Most of the time, the troubles you have are usually self inflicted.

I know someone, okay, I do not personally know him but we do have a mutual friend who told me of this man’s resolution which I have to admit is pretty great. This is not like the kawaida New Year resolution but one he came up with immediately after he got a job two years ago. He started off with one of those banking jobs where you starting salary is around KES 20K and after tax you are left with around KES 17-18K. He was lucky enough to come from a family that owns a building so he really does not have to pay rent and this is in Nairobi. You can imagine with the amount you are left with after fare; you cannot do much really except save a little here and there. But what bright resolution was I talking about? Having a woman in his life; he chose not to have one. He decided that he was going to be single up until he gets where he needs to be.

What does having a woman have to do with anything? Are you still confused? WOMEN-ARE-EXPENSIVE!

I am a woman, why would I say something like that? Because I am one and I have been in a relationship so I know what it takes to keep us around.

There is the dating that you have to think about

Most women do not want to come to the house and even if they do come to the house, she will still expect some treatment. Either you are buying dinner or making dinner. You have to take her out on a date to have a drink and you have to take her somewhere to eat a meal. She will not want to go to any kibanda and neither will she like to swill beer with the rest of your buddies. It can happen once in a while but she will want a bottle or box of wine. If not, she will want that whole box of Delmonte that I am sure costs more than your beer. Dating and having a girlfriend is not cheap.

Then while you are in a relationship, you cannot stuff her in a closet and get her out when you feel like it

She would like the special treatment while she is with you so that she feels like she is not with you wasting her time. She has to be constantly reminded that you treasure her and value her. What does this mean? No cheapness on her birthday or any day she feels like it should be an anniversary. You have to remember it and act accordingly; a dinner here, a gift there and oh, she has always wanted to go to some place in Kilifi-you better be making arrangements. Your woman won’t want to be spending all weekends at home because she is apparently being supportive and being by your side. She will want to go out on odd Saturdays and wake up to have breakfast-not maji ya Sturungi but tea and bread and all the works. GIRLFRIENDS! She will not want to struggle in the rain after a night out or in heels in matatus; you better figure out a taxi and how you will pay for it. If you were alone on the other hand, you could sleep at the bar for all anyone cares.

She wants to be able to say you bought her that handbag or shoe while you were just walking in the CBD

She wants to say how amazing you are and how you surprised her all of a sudden when you saw her longingly look at some fake Louis. You are amazing. Do this twice in a month and already 8k on a bag, shoe or both at the same damn time is gone.

If she is in trouble, you are in trouble

If she sleeps over you have to figure out her bus fare at times. You have to help her when she slips up. When your girlfriend calls and tells you she is hungry at lunch, at work, you better not say, ‘Even I darling, I am so hungry. We will survive this!’ She is calling so that you can figure her out not commiserate. Your stomach is manly, it will survive. Lunch is not a hundred bob either. If the colleagues are going to Java, how much do you think you are sending?

So young man, do you not agree with my friend or you still think having a girlfriend is a bright idea? Just imagine how much you would be saving, my friend’s numbers are quite good. You are asking me about he caters to his baser needs? That is a story for another day but I am sure you already know what I mean. Get your job and get your priorities right. Figure your life out before you clutter it. If I see you trying to chase me, I would rather tell you that your energies are focused in the wrong areas and they should be diverted.

This is why I do not date young men. I would rather not be the reason someone’s son is struggling to make ends meet.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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