At times women let themselves down
20 January 2016, 17:49
Nairobi - I was reading a Q and A and one woman wrote in: I have been
dating this man for a while. I do everything for him. I am nice to him. I buy
him gifts and treat him special (paying bills, getting him out of binds,
sliding some extra just in case). I even cook and clean for him; but me!
Nothing! He has never even bought me a birthday present (I should tell you this
guy is not jobless by the way). He has never even treated me like a girlfriend
and he does not really care about me. I have been there for him but now after
three years I am wondering if I should move on.’
You know me, by the time I was reading buying gifts I was
rolling on the floor. Women, no matter how much advice you give to others and
they hear about it. How many times you try to shake them you best believe there
is always going to be that one that thinks she can move a mountain, the one
that will make him change-because all this other women he had come across were
not women enough. Then at the end they are still asking even while she sees
that she has been treated wrongly: ‘should I leave?’ that is not a woman who
wants or is ready to leave. That is a woman that wants to hear, ‘just wait, he
will realize that you were the best thing ever to happen and he will turn around.’
That is a woman that wants consolation and redemption for spending all that
time but still find a reason to stick around.
She wanted someone to tell her, ‘Oh, you know, all men are silly, he is one but will come around. Even mine did the same but now I'm
planning my wedding!’
This is that type of relationship that we call one-sided
relationship. One person is giving too much, doing too much, doing the most and
bleeding dry while the other person, to put it bluntly, ‘Just doesn't give any feeling!’
He most probably wants her to realize that he does not want
her without hurting her feelings. So he does what most men do, keep quiet. She
should move on and get on with finding someone but she does not want to.
One-sided feelings will not make someone change and it
rarely guilt trips someone into committing. Read the signs and work with those
and from there you will learn how to make the best choices when it comes to
your dating life and relationships.
You can be all the things you profess but if the man you
want does not choose you; you are not that for him. Taking out a wallet and
buying gifts to show how much love you have to give only gives you negative
bank statements. That is why I am always
poor. I just act the way a man treats me. If he is nice to me, then hell, I
will treat you nicely as well. If he treats me on my birthday, I will sort him
out on his too. If he buys me gifts, I will try my best to buy a gift here and
there. But that give, give and give some more lifestyle is not my type of
lifestyle. Give and take works better. I just give you what you give me.
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