Are you ready to live with your mother in law?
16 September 2016, 16:11
Nairobi - The kind that does not go away.
The kind that came to go to hospital but
the doctor said she can’t be doing heavy work anymore (read digging in the
village and carrying firewood).
The kind that the son loves more than you,
you do not want to admit it but did you pay for your husband’s school fees and
almost died while you were at it- that is the love between son and mother. The
kind of love you provide on the other hand is snickering when he walks in.
Do you know some sons do not even allow
their mother’s to stay for any other reason other than the fact that the tide
changed during the marriage at some point and he just needs her around to
remind him of someone who actually does care about him?
You will be mad at me but you know I am
saying the truth; after some years of marriage, some of you do not give a shit after getting the ring. You think
you are done- just wait for the live-in mother in law. You will moan, silent
treatment, walk out, bring drama but news flash is; men do not care anymore
because second and third wives are the new it thing. Walk out, walk out at your
own peril if you really do care about your marriage. If you don’t care then,
just walk out!
Our generation has been brought up by
parents who have lived in town and will spit in their own faces before trying
to go and survive in the village. Which is why I am talking about the live in
because she is a trend catching on that you are yet to hear about. People keep
their bad drama to themselves because they do not want to be that woman in the
chama with the worst troubles.
She came to visit and ended up owning the
guest bedroom or the servant’s quarters.
Live in mother in law will always be part
of all the discussion; she will not be there but you will know she was when
your husband said, ‘Let me think about it.’ Then came back with an answer that
sounded like her.
Your children will like having her around
more than they like you, because she comes in their defence meaning your
discipline strategies are about to go down the drain.
If she does something wrong, she is not
wrong. She is not wrong. If you speak against it, you are wrong.
She cooks better than you. To your husband;
even if you make the best food and she wants to get into the kitchen; she will.
Pizza is not healthy food will be her comment when you order take outs. She
will get into the kitchen because her son has been suffering it seems.
All your argument strategies when it came
to dealing with your husband are also gone because at the end of it all; he
will go talk to his mother, she will make him feel better, case closed and you
are left steaming.
If he comes home late drunk, ‘My son, I
have been waiting for you. Here is your food. That wife of yours is so
irresponsible and uncaring. I told you she would change, you did not listen.’
Mothers in law forget they were once married once it comes to their sons.
Just wait until your man’s parents reach
pension age; then you will know what I am talking about. You will pray to go
back to the bedsitter but now you cannot refuse because there are always extra
rooms as long as the kids can share. And you live in your own compound.
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