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Are you looking for the wrong person?

18 February 2016, 15:22 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - We are always talking about finding the right person and while we are at it, we are never looking to find someone who is going to annoy us, someone who does not instantly display the characteristics that we want in a partner and the list goes on and on and on. But we rarely are looking to be with someone who is crazy to bring their wahalla into our lives. We just don’t.

On the other hand we look at this very unlikely people who came together and we remember that time we warned our friend not to be with this person because we ‘knew’ they were bad news. We just did not want them to ruin our friend’s life or our sibling’s life. But now we look at them and we see that that relationship did work, and is still working because they made that ‘bad’ person into a better person. They are making the relationship work but you, with your perfect significant other, you are still struggling and it makes you wonder, where did you go wrong?

What you need to understand is that, when you find the right person, that relationship will definitely make you a much better person that what you were before.

Most of the time, the opposite is what happens when two people get together and in efforts of trying to impress each other, they act into people that they really are not. It eventually turns foul because there is only so much time you will spend acting and hiding. Your skeletons always come out and that is why such relationships fail.

But when you see a person becoming better with the right partner it is not because they are trying to impress them but because they want to be better for them. This person did not take make a choice to bash them for their failings but was willing to give them that chance that not so many people were open to.

I am not talking about fake potential or fake loyalty where you stick around for the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. You are trying to force someone to be who they do not want to be for you. The choice word here is for you! For you, a person should want to be better, for you a person wants to change their habits because they turn you off, for you a person wants to try and make a future with you. Not this other one that gets a lot of people stuck in the wrong relationships; you want it for them more than they want it for themselves that just means that you are not in the equation while they make their decisions. That person will not become better for you no matter how many doses of good loving you give them.

A person will only want it for them when they want it for you; they become better because they want to be better with you. It is that simple.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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