Are you looking for the wrong person?
18 February 2016, 15:22
Nairobi - We are always talking about finding the right person and
while we are at it, we are never looking to find someone who is going to annoy
us, someone who does not instantly display the characteristics that we want in
a partner and the list goes on and on and on. But we rarely are looking to be
with someone who is crazy to bring their wahalla
into our lives. We just don’t.
On the other hand we look at this very unlikely people who
came together and we remember that time we warned our friend not to be with
this person because we ‘knew’ they were bad news. We just did not want them to
ruin our friend’s life or our sibling’s life. But now we look at them and we
see that that relationship did work, and is still working because they made
that ‘bad’ person into a better person. They are making the relationship work
but you, with your perfect
significant other, you are still struggling and it makes you wonder, where did
you go wrong?
What you need to understand is that, when you find the right
person, that relationship will definitely make you a much better person that
what you were before.
Most of the time, the opposite is what happens when two
people get together and in efforts of trying to impress each other, they act
into people that they really are not. It eventually turns foul because there is
only so much time you will spend acting and hiding. Your skeletons always come
out and that is why such relationships fail.
But when you see a person becoming better with the right
partner it is not because they are trying to impress them but because they want
to be better for them. This person did not take make a choice to bash them for
their failings but was willing to give them that chance that not so many people
were open to.
I am not talking about fake potential or fake loyalty where
you stick around for the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. You are trying
to force someone to be who they do not want to be for you. The choice word here
is for you! For you, a person should want to be better, for you a person wants to change their habits because they turn you
off, for you a person wants to try
and make a future with you. Not this other one that gets a lot of people stuck
in the wrong relationships; you want it for them more than they want it for
themselves that just means that you are not in the equation while they make
their decisions. That person will not become better for you no matter how many
doses of good loving you give them.
A person will only want it for them when they want it for you; they become better because they
want to be better with you. It is that simple.
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