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Are you dating the right person?

13 November 2015, 15:04 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Have you ever just looked at your partner and thought they were the one for you; but there is just that one thing you are hoping you can change, they can change or will change with time. But it does not happen.

Having a pessimist for a partner can be really draining. You have to keep talking to them. You have to keep giving them encouraging talks. You have to keep re-assuring them and you just have to keep checking on them because just one second away and they are in some ditch. Just one second away. Anyone who has been in a relationship with such a person understands. A lot of people think that a pessimistic person is that one who is just negative about everything and never looking for the best. That is normal; we all do it. We just do not tell people about it.

A pessimist will make you take time away from yourself because they need you more. You never realize that it is happening because initially you are thinking that that is what normal couples do. It is true that people take time out to talk to their partner when they are in a terrible state; with a pessimist on the other hand. You have to literally close shop, stop everything you are doing just to make sure they are not getting out of hand. You end up losing time on your business, social life and what not and be full time on the watch for them.

Every day it is like you have to give them a pep talk to get them ready for the day. Reading the Bible together or watching something together is cool but with this one you have to literally encourage them to face the day because to them they have nothing they are living for. They are just going through motions and it is sort of very hard to build with such a person. They are taking more out of the relationship than putting in. By the time you are getting to work you are energetically drained and you start doing the same things they are.

Most people do not know this but when you are around a certain type of person for too long, you start mirroring them; in everything. Toxic relationships are never necessarily about abuse and drama or violence but even such. When your partner makes you into something you weren’t. Something worse than before.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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