Are you dating the right person?
13 November 2015, 15:04
Nairobi - Have you ever just looked at your partner and thought they
were the one for you; but there is just that one thing you are hoping you can
change, they can change or will change with time. But it does not happen.
Having a pessimist for a partner can be really draining. You
have to keep talking to them. You have to keep giving them encouraging talks.
You have to keep re-assuring them and you just have to keep checking on them
because just one second away and they are in some ditch. Just one second away.
Anyone who has been in a relationship with such a person understands. A lot of
people think that a pessimistic person is that one who is just negative about
everything and never looking for the best. That is normal; we all do it. We
just do not tell people about it.
A pessimist will make you take time away from yourself
because they need you more. You never realize that it is happening because
initially you are thinking that that is what normal couples do. It is true that
people take time out to talk to their partner when they are in a terrible
state; with a pessimist on the other hand. You have to literally close shop,
stop everything you are doing just to make sure they are not getting out of
hand. You end up losing time on your business, social life and what not and be
full time on the watch for them.
Every day it is like you have to give them a pep talk to get
them ready for the day. Reading the Bible together or watching something
together is cool but with this one you have to literally encourage them to face
the day because to them they have nothing they are living for. They are just
going through motions and it is sort of very hard to build with such a person.
They are taking more out of the relationship than putting in. By the time you
are getting to work you are energetically drained and you start doing the same
things they are.
Most people do not know this but when you are around a
certain type of person for too long, you start mirroring them; in everything.
Toxic relationships are never necessarily about abuse and drama or violence but
even such. When your partner makes you into something you weren’t. Something
worse than before.
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