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Are Kenyan women demanding too much in relationships?

23 November 2015, 14:47 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I was having a conversation with my mum and as usual she dropped one of her euphemisms. She told both I and my sister that it might just be a little too hard for this generation to find love, marriage or relationships because we keep asking for a lot. We were talking about how men are such liars and we were updating her on the current lies they tell. How much they earn, where they live and the jobs they have. She asked us, ‘what do you expect the men to do if all you keep doing is asking for bigger salaries and better jobs?’ We turned to each other then gave her the ‘mum you are an idiot’ look.

Are we asking for a lot as women when it comes to the men that we want to date and eventually marry? It has come to a point that it has become so easy for me to tell a man that I will stress him and he should look for someone else he can manage. I did that this morning.

Are the men justified to lie? I have decided to put myself in your shoes, be empathetic and all that and see where you are coming from so I do understand. I understand that you can meet this amazing woman who fulfills every aspect of what you need in your life but her standards are so high and you are lacking in a thing or two; I do understand why you have to lie about a business you do not own. Don’t do it with me though because I will find out.

So I sat down and actually asked myself what I need from a man. Women rarely do that. You actually think you have figured it out then get into a relationship and realize that what you are getting is not actually what you wanted. You mapped it out yes but it is not coming out as you wanted it to.

You are getting the money but you are wife number two. Your bills are getting paid but he is cheating. He is tall but his brain is functions like it is full of twat and now you are sitting there wondering who you are going to make decisions with. He is dark or light just the way you like but you hear from him after decades. My sister had one of those and he stressed her out so much I told her I no longer care how my boyfriend looks like, the kids will figure themselves out. That is what you need to do. You have to give up one thing to get the rest that you want.

If he is getting money just know that he is going might just not be as good looking or as tall as you wanted; or as fit and healthy as you would like. When they talk about women wanting men who are already made; it applies here as well. At times you have to make a contribution to make the man even if he will never acknowledge the fact that you were a part of it.

My mother had made a valid point but I am never going to tell her that though, she is too full of herself as it is. But I understand that the men lie because the women have put such high standards on themselves that they miss out on a good person because they are too busy looking for how a society tells them is the good guy.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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