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A man asked me to be his sugar mummy

09 March 2016, 19:50 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Nothing confused me more in my dating life as the first time a man asked me if I could be his sponsor. Before you get confused, I am not rich neither do I portray to be so but this man just assumed that because I had done my nails and looked very well put together in my African braids that I had ‘some’ money.

I was so offended but you know how a moment can quickly get awkward but you both see it and decide to cover it up with some fake laugh? That is what happened and from that moment on I knew I was in for it just from that one date that I was about to have. I had already cancelled him in my head but I had to be courteous enough to stay up until the end.

I am slowly starting to understand the reason behind so many Kenyan women opting to stay alone and raise kids alone. Why they are opting to just not to put up with some things because judging from the crop you date, if that is a show of the Kenyan man’s best foot forward-more like worst foot to ever be presented.

I will not even lie but my date turned out to be a freeloader. You know the way someone keeps talking about independent women, how he likes such and how he just wants someone to ‘hold him down’ the whole time? Stay away from that one.  That does not want someone to grow with but someone to just take over. I ended up paying for the whole date and you know those men that start a conversation as to why everything is so expensive and calls the waiter to discuss it further in that restaurant yet he chose it; that type. Then he starts talking about how he is always prepared but he has no idea how he messed up this weekend; that type.

Don’t feel complimented when a man starts talking to you about how he appreciates a woman like you who can do it all for herself and how he is always looking for such but never finds them. Be very fearful because this one will be zoning in on your ovaries; not because you are the amazing wife material that you might be but because he is about to bring the misery in his life to your life. He wants a woman who can easily clear up his messes without ruining his mental stability.

He knows that is he drinks the school fees; you will pick up the slack. He knows that if he concentrates on his numerous projects despite the fact they do not bring in any income, he has a woman who can hold him down. A woman that does not need his input but he would really like his physical presence to be felt. He sticks around because not that he lacks female attention and companionship but because those ones ask for things but you do not.

My dear please do not feel complimented because you want a man in the house, you will not feel it initially until that moment you realize that you are taking care of everything by yourself.  You thought you were being a good woman who was not bothersome but by the time you realize it, you are three kids in and dealing with all of that on your own. Picture this realistically, which good man that might still be out there for you will want to take in another man’s family. You will be stuck with this man and some men do make themselves a nuisance when it comes to divorcing them. When a freeloader knows the going is good, he will make sure that all his kids are had by that one woman who can sort them all out by herself and it is also because he also knows no man will easily take in another man’s family. He will also make it hard for you to offload him that is why for many women, you look at them and wonder why they are still with someone who is clearly not helping them.

She has tried but trust me; he is not making it easy especially if he has been living with her. This is not marrying potential but you are about to live a life where you are being taken for granted.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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