You decide what your partner should be
04 May 2015, 17:38
Nairobi - The first time I heard this piece if advise was from a now
ex-boyfriend of mine. At that time we were dating and of course you know I
whole heartedly disagreed with him because he was referring to how he moulded me
to suit him.
It grated on my nerves because he was pointing out that all
the good qualities I had was because he played a key role in creating them. I
was a lump of clay and he made me into something. Anybody would disagree with
that especially if it was directed to them.
Others would say that you take your partner as they are
don’t try to make them into something. Appreciate them as they are. A few years
down the line and I do have to agree with that assessment. Which I told my
He claims that in Nairobi there are no women any longer and
he feels pity for himself because he wants a serious relationship. He has
resorted to going to church, both for prayers and to find a GOOD woman. I told
him if that is the strategy he has been applying then that is why he is
failing. There is such a thing as pretense, just because she is in church does
not disqualify her from having a few bad habits. I told him that just like him
maybe she is also there to net some unknowing man before she goes back to binge
drinking next Friday.
I am starting to understand what that ex meant you mould your
partner according to how you treat them when you meet, how you approach them,
how you talk to them and how you behave around them. If you are a gentleman,
she will go out of her way to be a lady. Even if it means googling the meaning
of the word. She will go out of her way to be a lady so that she does not fall
On the other hand, if you behave like a …. a not so
gentleman person then you will be approached by the same women with the same
habits. That is what we call the laws of attraction.
If you treat you woman with a caring mind and look out for
her well-being then she will go out of her way to ensure the same for you. If
you treat her otherwise that is when her caring attitudes dissipates and you
get a harridan in her place. That is when you start asking what changed her.
What changed her is her discovering that you did not care to begin with and
since there are no good crops at the moment, she just deals with you until the
next good harvest happens by. That is the molding I am talking about. The
people you are with create a change in you some for the better others for the
You see people who were happily married are now miserable.
The person they are with created that situation that made them into the people
they are at the moment. Having an I do not care attitude. Doing what you want
without regards to their feelings. Playing around out there with nobodies. Then
there are those people who had no illusions but were open minded to that
They had a pleasant attitude towards each other but it grows
into something more because they take the time to actually care about the other
person. They mould their partner for the better as compared to those in the
Moulding is playing a part in the growth of the other
individual or changing the other person’s perception of you which in turn leads
to how they end up treating you. You start good, it ends badly. You start with
a bad product and end up making it good.
It takes six months to build a Rolls Royce and thirteen
hours to build a Toyota. What have you been building?
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