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Women have themselves to blame for bad relationships

13 January 2015, 16:30 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  ‘You can never do better’ is the worst line that a woman can feed herself, even worst is when she is being fed the line by someone else. We can be our own worst enemies and that is the reason why we always end up making the worst choices.

When we are young am talking about in your 20s and early 30s, but it is not young women alone who make bad choices when it comes to relationships but women of all ages across the spectrum.

Poor self-esteem, lack of self-esteem or even completely no self-esteem is one of the main reasons that most women run after the married man, the cheating man, the abusive man, the neglectful man, the non-committed man, generally the man who is bad for you as long as he gives you those few moments of attention and you feel you are okay with that because how can you possibly do better.

Your state of mind is very important in deciding who you give your number to, who you accept to go on a date with, who you flirt with, who you get into a relationship with and eventually who you end up with. I am an expert because as a woman, I have made my fair share of bad decisions especially when it comes to men but it is always no regrets but lessons learnt.

There is that rebound you hook yourself into because you are confused and distraught and feel like you need to be in a relationship. Give yourself a month later and you think, what was I thinking? The idea of them is enough to make you want to vomit.

Then the relationship that you are not even sure what was happening half the time because you were just going through motions and he was there, you were there so you just made it happen.

You chase after the wrong people, and stick with the bad because you are not comfortable enough to question what it is they are giving you.

On the other hand you let go of those who are good to you instead of giving yourself options. In a few years’ time most of you will be asking yourself why you did not just leave that guy who was clearly bad for you, wasting your time and energy and now the man you friend zoned is already taken and married. Since he is nice, he is also not an adulterer so no chance of an affair for you.

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