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Women choose to be hurt by men!!

15 October 2015, 17:03 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You do not have to be cheated on for you to feel like you are the last thing that your partner is thinking about. You can be in the same room with someone but they do not even notice you, no matter what you do. You play second fiddle to everything and everyone else that is going on with them.

Do you stay or do you leave? Are they worth it? Is it worth it? I did not even remember this story up until I typed the last sentence. I have an acquaintance, I m not going to call her friend because that would be using the term loosely. It is the three of us, me, her and another ‘acquaintance’. I had warned these two acquaintances about the men that they were about to have an association with but I became the evil person so I let it be. I meet with her this weekend and she starts flooding me with her tales of that last time we were together. We were meeting up for drinks and they were also meeting their beaus, so I did not even stay for long but boy did their men have a surprise for them. They brought a long with them two friends; of the female kind nonetheless.

I do not know if it was one for each of the men because they left with those two ladies after they gave one fare to take herself home while they dropped the other one off at her house. The men had a fun night out with these ladies at a certain popular strip club on Baricho road while their girlfriends were at home sleeping. Ask me if I was sorrowful and berating men along with her while she told me her tales of woe! Nope! I was rolling on the ground and laughing so hard… in my head though! You should have seen my face, it was looking all composed but I did not commiserate because I had warned them. You cannot see a dog and say it is cat then be angry because it is behaving like the dog it is. Not all men are bad, just keep ignoring the good ones and choosing the ones that want to drag you in the mud, I will keep laughing and she knows me, I was laughing!

I deviate though…

Being the third wheel. It is so funny how someone does not have to mess on you literally by taking their pants off. These men brought WITH THEM two more women, paid more attention to them and even brought them drinks like something that was intimate. Told you to go home so that they can continue ENJOYING themselves with them! How? This is when someone can tell if you have some sense of self respect and worth. Really? Is there that much shortage of men?

At times it does not have to be the opposite sex, at times you have to give yourself pause before making a rush decision. You can be third wheel to someone’s job, work, or career. They are so busy that even when they are with you, the conversation may just end up with them talking about how much more fulfilling their work is as compared to a relationship with you. It is at that point you ask, ‘is this what they mean by getting a hardworking spouse?’ Should I leave or should I stay? Someone being dedicated to their work is not a bad thing but it is a matter of balancing and knowing when they are with you, they should be showing you some respect as their partner.

You can be a third wheel when you are with their family. The problem with tribe or difference in culture is barely about understanding your partner and it. Have you ever felt as disrespected as when after the preliminary greetings, they switch and start talking in a tongue/ language you do not understand? Then not for two minutes but after you were greeted, they forgot about you and it was mother tongue the whole time you were there. That is third wheel when family is involved. They make plans and do not consult you. They take sidebars while you are left holding a glass of juice at some corner seat. You even wonder if your partner remembers you are there. This one may not be a relationship sticking around for because family is strong and if your partner has no way of knowing there place when you are around, walk away. You are uncomfortable now, wait until you two are hitched.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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