Women and too much money in relationships
02 November 2015, 19:01
Nairobi - When getting into anything with anyone, what are your expectations of them? Does it reflect you or you just want them to be doing well in life and not struggling in life?
I have realized it’s a matter of perspective, how the person was brought up and their understanding of treatment of women.
There is that man who thinks that the best way to show he loves her is by lavishing on her. You will never hear him say the words or show open displays of affection. His understanding is that when he buys her this and make sure she gets what she wants; that shows that I am treating her well. Thing is when he finds a woman who is genuinely interested in him it can cause a rift because she thinks he is buying her. She wants the affection but he cannot do that because he does not understand it.
For her she will never understand his way of thinking because she does not want the material but him. If she accepts the treatment, is she materialistic? No, but it is a way of trying to appease a situation she is still trying to fix. She knows if she rejects it is a way of rejecting him.
For her, she will never know where this man stands with her because he is not providing what she actually wants. She is not materialistic because she did not ask and she did not expect his lavishing.
Now go to the other side. The ones that cause a shiver; you are materialistic if you choose a lifestyle that you cannot support on your own but need every partner to support. You choose a partner depending on what he is showing he can give you presently and maintain it for you. If they do not or cannot, you will never give them the time of day.
Your disagreements in a relationship are usually more about money and him forgetting to send it, add more or buy you something. For you that is how it works. It is not working for you when you do not get what you had hoped for so you end the liaison to look for someone knew. You rarely if ever take breaks in a relationship because if a new prospect who is doing better and well off comes up, it’s easier to dump the other person rather than let this new one go.
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