Women: Set standards for your man in 2015
05 January 2015, 18:49
Nairobi - It is all about you, the attitude you have and how you act
around the man that you want is how he will in turn treat you.
If you want to eat
nyama choma with his boys and burp over beer, then you should blame yourself
when he invites you there for an anniversary or the valentines. It is in the
middle of the month and he cannot afford to take you out on a date rather than
you puttinga pause on it and doing other things with your time, until he can
figure himself out, you compromise and go to his house- do not be surprised
when he is confused when you ask why you do not do something outside the house.
He does not call so you send him credit and call him to boot so he can invite
you for a night cap.
Act like a doormat and he will forever step on you, act like
a queen and he will move heaven and earth to get you your throne. It is all
about the standards you set for the man you choose, and do choose a man with
substance, never let a man choose you because you might just end up settling.
I recently wrote an article about men always testing waters
and it never just applies to the simple but the relationship in general. Never
blame a man for what you allow your man to get away with. Compromising is what
most of us women do when we think we are not enough or cannot do better, better
yet, being afraid of ending up alone. It is all about control in the
relationship and as the woman make sure that you are the one that has it, not
him. Perfect example of when we lose control, one of you approached the other
and you exchanged numbers, but this man does not call. A week goes by, let me
take a feminist approach and say that you can call because it is a two way
street, now how you act is the difference.
Do not be too emotional about it,
demanding why he did not call back, that is how you lose control. Ask how his
day was, have a middle ground, if he becomes nonchalant then cut him off and
move on while the ball is in your court. Do not stalk him, his social media,
and his Google+ or send weird emails. There is always the next train to jump
on. Do that, you have standards to maintain.
And if are in a relationship do not lose yourself in it.
Cutting off friends, foregoing hobbies and doing what you need to do for self
because dignity must be maintained at all times. Having self-respect will lead
to him respecting you and acknowledging boundaries but let it not be about you
getting a panic attack if he threatens to leave or if you find texts on his
phone-be the one to pack up his bag and show him the door.
If you are the one being chased out at night
because he knows you have nowhere to go, then re-evaluate yourself this new
year and make decisions for you. Be the queen, not the doormat.
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