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Why your relationship is like money

23 October 2015, 14:47 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - If you have never heard of the wealth silo, it is a bit complicated for me to start explaining it from scratch for you right now. But to put a long story short it just explains how the people you spend most of your time with are key determinants of how and where you are in life in terms of money, spending it, investing it-if you do invest. Where they are is where you are in life, even though you do not want to admit it. Its theory is to learn to separate each quadrant in your life; emotional, social, faith, work and investment (the people in each of these circles) if you ever want to be truly wealthy. They cannot mix.

So I sat down and thought, well, here is something I can write about but adapt it for my readers in something they are interested in. Okay, I know you are also interested in being filthy rich/ wealthy so the book is Cashflow Quadrant by Robert Kiyosaki.

The bind here was so how do I explain not mixing things in a relationship because when you get into one, everybody is basically looking forward to being in their partner’s business. Then they transport that business to other people.

Here is your relationship, so you need to make it work; make it wealthy and worthwhile for you.

One is always judged by the company that they choose to keep. I have been doing a re-evaluation of the company I keep and some people had to get demoted because they want to stay one way and I want to grow another way. Hurts, but if you want to be a healthy individual, mind and body, you will need to do it.

Then ask yourself where you get most of your advice from and how you spend your free time.

The emotional part

I always tell people, though they choose to disagree with me, you cannot keep sacrificing yourself and inviting anyone into your life like they are coming to a public toilet. You cannot keep complaining about something/ some people yet you are the one that keeps letting them in. This is the most important because without securing it, all the rest will fail and you won’t work. The only people who should be allowed here: partner/spouse, children, small sect of family (if they are normal) and that one or two friends who have actually been there. That is it. They should be the only ones aware of your breakdowns, stress and where you get advice about yourself. You cannot take it out of there and into another group that you ‘hang’ with.

Your social circle

Oh, you will not like this part. You drink with them, go out with them; hang out with them, road trip and what not. Then we all think, ‘Oh, let us start a chama and do something together!’ You already hate what I am going to say. I have seen a couple of acquaintances try to come up with investment groups together but then there is that one who always has an excuse as to why they cannot collect this week or month then there are those you have to chase or let’s not forget the one who took the group money and ran cause they were in trouble but you all had to forgive because they were your friend. See why it cannot work? This circle is just for partying and your social life, not for your latest troubles in life, what is wrong with your children or spouse and definitely not where you take your money. You can listen to what they have going on, because you have read this article and you are now bright, but take it to your investing circle and actually get good advice so that you do not get messed up.

Your workgroup

Like the above one, you will not like this one either. Blurred lines and crossing territories. Don’t take your family drama to your colleagues even though they understand you like no one else ever has. This is why office affairs end badly. That is not where you get your social circle from because now you know why you cringe every time you get to the office on Monday. If you work at a bank and you know your colleague is a badass investment banker, listen to the advice but again, take it to your investment circle. Remember, you earn the same and are employed by the same boss if it ever comes to who is getting fired they will sell you out. I used to have an acquaintance who taught me something; I talked a lot and she listened more. Have you understood? These days I like listening and with a lot less liquor in my glass.

This is where your money is, should be-Investment Circle

Do you know why chamas, women chamas rarely work and then drama, and then it breaks up? You go to each other’s houses, talk about husbands and what each one of you was up to and get bad advice because that is what the others did.

For this circle to work; you are not friends, and you are not here to ‘chill’. You talk business and investment, and everyone does their part; until the next opportunity. It is hard to get this group together because you look at the work mates, then the friends, then the family. It will not work. This are the people you meet at events or networking office hours; you did not click but you know they are good at what they do. So get it together.

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- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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