Why women choose to be second wives
10 March 2015, 17:24
Nairobi - I was having a discussion with my thoughts the other day,
okay just this past weekend, and it was on polygamy in Kenya.
As a woman, and also as a fact, I know that we like to joke
about it, and joke about the people who are doing it. Also the scorned first
wives who are discreetly pushed aside as the new model, the second wife takes up the prominent role. What made
my thoughts go along that direction, was because I was trolling a couple of
high profile male public figures. I was just reading news really but as a sex
and relationship writer I had to notice the fact that majority of them were not
wearing any wedding rings. Are they not married? Of course they are but I
figured that in case, they found the second/ third wife, they can wear a ring
That is what made
sense to me at the moment because I do not see these Kenyan men with more than
one wife wear three or four rings on their ring finger. Furthermore, it means
that ever since it was legalized, a man in Kenya has the RIGHT to marry as many
women as he wants as long as he can support them. So technically, men here do
not have mpango wa kandos, what they
are doing is just regular courting so that in case he finds her to be his
second lifelong partner he can marry her too.
I know, I have just ruffled the feathersof a few/ a lot of
women with that statement but it just had to come out. If you look at it in
technical dating terms, before he marries the second wife, how else do you
think they court? He courts her as the woman you prefer calling the mpango wa kando.I will not mention names,
but just think of all those politicians/businessmen/public figures that you
know about who have wives, not wife but wives. First there was a scandal, then
they made it official, then the first wife went into obscurity and the
scandalous mpango wa kando was now the wife. If that does not put it into
perspective for you then I do not know how else to put it for you.
Then I had to step back and think of the women too, the
supposed side chick. Long ago, the man had to hide that he was married, this
days it is the opening line that makes man 100% attractive. It shows, he is
stable, he is mature and knows what life is about what more could the woman
If you are the mpango
wa kando, I now have the perfect line that you can give anyone that says
you are dating a married Kenyan man. Just tell them you are the girlfriend and
to explain, just say he is allowed to marry as many women as he wants, so you
are both figuring out if you want to be the second wife. You can carry around
the constitution with that highlighted area as well.
What I am leading up to as a woman that is yet to be
married, as a Kenyan woman, you should prepare yourself to have to share your
husband. Long ago, it was tradition, now, it is part of the law. How do you
beat law, unless you make your husband sign some document saying that he will
not marry again. Knowing Kenyan men, that is like dragging a bull to a
slaughter house; he will not sign such a document.
Something else that I
have noticed, older men are now more inclined to approach the young woman that
he wants. I have seen a lot of older men ogling at a young woman;It is now law
that he can have her as long as he can provide for her. Nothing gets a Kenyan
woman to dance to your tune better than the word PROVIDE.
So if you are a young lady being courted by a married man,
you are simply a girlfriend who may soon be a second/third wife. So go for it.
Just know that when you marry your young man, he will also reach a time when he
wants to date a younger you when you are past the expiry date. It is not karma,
just laws in Kenya.
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