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Why the woman always suffers most from divorce

25 November 2014, 19:00 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  You tried it once, it did not work out but would you be willing to try it again? 

And I am not talking about a one year marriage in your twenties but the kind of long-term marriage that breaks up when you are in your thirties or forties. After all those years of not love and bliss, because it rarely is that; but hard work. Because it usually is that, you have built a family with someone, invested time-decades, money, emotion and even your health when either one of you just tells the other it’s over or better yet it is a mutually agreed upon decision.

It is easy when you are in your twenties to want to try again but what about after all the children are sent to college and you suddenly realize that your spouse at one point just became your roommate and since there are no children to distract either of you, it suddenly becomes claustrophobic. In a study done by the Pew Research Center, four in 10 new marriages in 2013 were remarriages. And of those people saying, "I do" all over again, more of them were men (64 percent) than women (52 percent).

Read also: This is the only way to give her an orgasm 

Rarely if ever is a divorce better for the woman in financial as well as emotional terms. In the new Kenyan constitution, it provides that after a split, it does not matter whether you are female or male but everything gets split in half and if you are the breadwinner you continue providing for the other spouse. At one point we used to think that the men are driving the economy but it has recently come to light that the Kenyan woman has not been sleeping hence the hidden assets that the men are never made to be aware of.

You can now see how for the Kenyan woman, divorce would not be a concept that would frighten her and better yet, if she has her own hidden assets, she really would not be too bothered if the man decides to get on another bandwagon because for her she has already attained what she wanted. Brought up her children, is financially stable and of course she is emotionally stable because she is already independent- that goes a long way in instilling her confidence.

Remarriage for her would definitely not work because it is a symbol of being seen only as a caregiver or a maternal figure most of your feminity is overlooked. Who would want that? The man always has had the better end of the stick since even at his dotage he can still marry that twenty something old and begin a new family-start a fresh so to speak. The woman on the other hand has no reason to look forward to any fresh start especially if she is past her biological clock and still has to keep the reigns of the children from the first marriage.

If she is comfortable, remarrying is most definitely the last thing that the Kenyan woman would have in mind not unless it is just companionship is what she craves.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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