Why the woman always suffers most from divorce
25 November 2014, 19:00
Nairobi - You tried it once, it did not work out but would you be
willing to try it again?
And I am not
talking about a one year marriage in your twenties but the kind of long-term
marriage that breaks up when you are in your thirties or forties. After all
those years of not love and bliss, because it rarely is that; but hard work.
Because it usually is that, you have built a family with someone, invested
time-decades, money, emotion and even your health when either one of you just
tells the other it’s over or better yet it is a mutually agreed upon decision.
It is easy when you
are in your twenties to want to try again but what about after all the children
are sent to college and you suddenly realize that your spouse at one point just
became your roommate and since there are no children to distract either of you,
it suddenly becomes claustrophobic. In a study done by the Pew Research Center,
four in 10 new marriages in 2013 were remarriages. And of those people saying,
"I do" all over again, more of them were men (64 percent) than women
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Rarely if ever is a
divorce better for the woman in financial as well as emotional terms. In the
new Kenyan constitution, it provides that after a split, it does not matter
whether you are female or male but everything gets split in half and if you are
the breadwinner you continue providing for the other spouse. At one point we
used to think that the men are driving the economy but it has recently come to
light that the Kenyan woman has not been sleeping hence the hidden assets that
the men are never made to be aware of.
You can now see how for the Kenyan
woman, divorce would not be a concept that would frighten her and better yet,
if she has her own hidden assets, she really would not be too bothered if the
man decides to get on another bandwagon because for her she has already
attained what she wanted. Brought up her children, is financially stable and of
course she is emotionally stable because she is already independent- that goes a
long way in instilling her confidence.
Remarriage for her would definitely not work because it is a
symbol of being seen only as a caregiver or a maternal figure most of your
feminity is overlooked. Who would want that? The man always has had the better
end of the stick since even at his dotage he can still marry that twenty
something old and begin a new family-start a fresh so to speak. The woman on
the other hand has no reason to look forward to any fresh start especially if
she is past her biological clock and still has to keep the reigns of the
children from the first marriage.
If she is comfortable, remarrying is most
definitely the last thing that the Kenyan woman would
have in mind not unless it is just companionship is what she craves.
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