Why she does not want your name
11 May 2015, 15:53
Nairobi - A lot and a lot more ladies I know are keeping their maiden
name and opting out of taking their husbands name. The husbands do not mind,
our generation is about female empowerment, you cannot be the man that speaks
out against it.
Also majority of the men from our era, do not really look
like they care either way, but I am sure there are those few that are bereaved
by the idea of their would-be-wife not doing the same as their mother did.
So, why are the lot of us not embracing your archaic ideas?
Believe it or not, some of the reasons do actually make a lot of sense. The
rest might just sound like a woman on an illogical tirade.
Just like your name, her name is also a brand
The modern Kenyan woman, has worked hard, maybe in politics,
business, corporate ladder or her personal business. Her name is the letterhead
that represents her when she is handling business. After working hard and
toiling all those years, it is a tad bit unoriginal to ask her to drop her
name; which might be the name of her business and part of her signature and ask
her to pick yours. It is not only losing a part of herself but losing some of
the brand that she has worked hard to build over the years. It will be tricky
when she now has to call business associates and tell them it has all changed
causing confusion for no reason.
What happens to all that she has accumulated in her name?
Documentation! No one loves the legalities involved in
documentation. Women this days can vote, own property, or a representative of a
company, and any other thing you can come up with.
Long ago, women could not do all that and a lot more of what
we can do today. We went to the matrimonial home with no hide or hair of what
life outside the man was about. So it is allowed that they were made to take up
On the other hand, these days, women are concentrating more
on building themselves as independent entities before settling in marriage. It
will be tricky to change all the aforementioned documents when you can just
swallow that pill and move on.
Take out the marriage what you are left with is two
A lot of people can make a mountain out of a mole hill. Let
us say, she changes her name, then afew years maybe months down the line it
does not work again. You choose to separate. Who is left with all the paper
The point is, I do not personally think that for a marriage
to succeed, my last name has anything to do with it. It is just a name and
marriage is about much more than that!
For the stupid part, a lot of us just do not want to think
someone now thinks that they can own us. Men can be petty. Heaven forbid, you
are having an argument and what comes up is that his is the last name on your
ID. That will not make for a comfortable ending. To some extent, that is what
we grew up seeing, our mothers being told that they now had to behave in a
certain way because they were now so and so’s wife.
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