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Why she does not want your name

11 May 2015, 15:53 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - A lot and a lot more ladies I know are keeping their maiden name and opting out of taking their husbands name. The husbands do not mind, our generation is about female empowerment, you cannot be the man that speaks out against it.

Also majority of the men from our era, do not really look like they care either way, but I am sure there are those few that are bereaved by the idea of their would-be-wife not doing the same as their mother did.

So, why are the lot of us not embracing your archaic ideas? Believe it or not, some of the reasons do actually make a lot of sense. The rest might just sound like a woman on an illogical tirade.


Just like your name, her name is also a brand

The modern Kenyan woman, has worked hard, maybe in politics, business, corporate ladder or her personal business. Her name is the letterhead that represents her when she is handling business. After working hard and toiling all those years, it is a tad bit unoriginal to ask her to drop her name; which might be the name of her business and part of her signature and ask her to pick yours. It is not only losing a part of herself but losing some of the brand that she has worked hard to build over the years. It will be tricky when she now has to call business associates and tell them it has all changed causing confusion for no reason.


What happens to all that she has accumulated in her name?

Documentation! No one loves the legalities involved in documentation. Women this days can vote, own property, or a representative of a company, and any other thing you can come up with.

Long ago, women could not do all that and a lot more of what we can do today. We went to the matrimonial home with no hide or hair of what life outside the man was about. So it is allowed that they were made to take up his name.

On the other hand, these days, women are concentrating more on building themselves as independent entities before settling in marriage. It will be tricky to change all the aforementioned documents when you can just swallow that pill and move on.


Take out the marriage what you are left with is two individual people

A lot of people can make a mountain out of a mole hill. Let us say, she changes her name, then afew years maybe months down the line it does not work again. You choose to separate. Who is left with all the paper work? Her.

The point is, I do not personally think that for a marriage to succeed, my last name has anything to do with it. It is just a name and marriage is about much more than that!

For the stupid part, a lot of us just do not want to think someone now thinks that they can own us. Men can be petty. Heaven forbid, you are having an argument and what comes up is that his is the last name on your ID. That will not make for a comfortable ending. To some extent, that is what we grew up seeing, our mothers being told that they now had to behave in a certain way because they were now so and so’s wife.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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