Why men hate honesty
11 May 2015, 12:23
Nairobi - I am all for honesty in relationships. In fact, for a good relationship, to even become better and even the best honesty plays a crucial role in it. Honest with your ideas. Honest with your thoughts. Honest in your hilarity. Honest with your comments and compliments. Basically if you are honest in everything and your partner can take it-that makes for a really good relationship. But. But! I do not think Kenyan men like honesty.
If we were honest, this relationship and marriages would not make it past the one month mark. All because you all have egos and put the P in the word Pride! (You really do have dirty minds if you came up with another word.)
I will use a personal couple as an example. My mother when it comes to my father, she does not know how to keep her mouth shut. They have that type of relationship. You ask a question, for example, my father asks my mother her opinion. Because it is my father who has asked, there will be a no holds barred answer-read reply! They will get into an argument because he wanted her to say he was right and not give her opinion. Then since they will not agree, they will give each other silent treatment for a while until the next time. It’s a cycle you see. Hence my opinion that Kenyan men really do not like honesty, they like to hear their opinion when it is coming out of someone else’s mouth especially when it applies to their better halves.
If you ask me, if your business idea makes sense, it does not, and I tell you. You think that maybe I do not actually know anything. So you take two approaches to this situation 1. You will go and ask your male colleague instead or 2.you will do what you want, and if I was right, it fails and you blame the other party because you can never be wrong. That is called ego.
I remember during the election period, the lead up to it. There was that popular saying, ‘that the house needed to vote as one’. Now, if your husband supported so and so, you were meant to support them too. So if he said he was voting for this people, you were meant to vote with them too. Thank Heavens for anonymous voting because I do not think she voted for whomever you wanted. This is where the white lie comes in, I said, I would but that does not mean that she did. Even if you were next in line, she voted for whomever she wanted and just came and stared you in the face and told you she voted for whoever you wanted. That is how you manage a Kenyan man’s ego. You tell him what he wants to hear.
We only draw the line when it comes to your appearance because you are walking beside me, so, ‘No, the purple tie does not work with the green shirt and brown shoes-the prints are just wrong’. But in everything else, we most definitely o not tell you our complete opinions. Why create a drought type of situation on your garden when you could have simply managed it by irrigating the land well. See what I mean? It is only my mother who does not agree with this type of management.
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