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Why marriage is not on my mind

29 July 2015, 18:03 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Why is marriage not on my mind? Here's a reason.

Staying married these days has become so much of a challenge that you would rather opt to not even get married in the first place.

You look at the couple that looked really good and five years down the line they split up because of one reason of the other. No one is staying married like the old folks did and those who still are it is for one reason or the other: money, stability, security, children and both couple’s family but never for them. So looking at that whop wants to get themselves in such a situation if you already have a handle of everything on your own.

As long as you have a child and can take care of the child on your own why should I complicate mothers. Parents are no longer asking for the father or mother of the child as long as you are not living the said child on their doorstep.

Who wants to pay all that dowry for someone they might break up with two years down the line? Will you go ask her parents to give it back especially if they already made away with it? On that note who is even paying dowry anymore?

At the moment, my mother is more panicked that I am because I am yet to get married (she did it at the age of 24). The only reason she holds off on bothering me about is because she knows my philosophy on settling down when I am yet to afford a family. One child creates an earthquake in someone’s life now imagine a husband and a child or children?

Our parents know that they are partly to blame because we watched them all those years and most of them did not turn out so well. One came in with a lot of expectations and idealistic views. The other one came in with no clue at all. For both of them, it did not and still has not turned into what they wanted. And both are miserable while others have decided to make do. Who wants to make do when you can have something better? That is not being picky but being bright in my opinion. I am the one that has to live with that person, theirs will just be visiting.

That is why, for us, for our generation, marriage is like making a grocery list. With priorities at the very top and following in that order. Unless one is checked off at the top, we are not going to start checking the list from the bottom because no one wants to waste their time and energies on something that was doomed from the beginning.  

For those who never had a list of priorities serve as an example for the rest of us reminding us about them.

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