Why ladies don't date younger men
05 June 2015, 15:29
Nairobi - I never get mad at my fellow women for giving up on the young men around them and opting to date or have a relationship with the older guy. I will not say I condone dating someone’s father or husband but there is also the older man who is single.
Let me explain why from a young woman’s perspective and in such an objective manner this Muchiri person will have no cause to come for me.
I have always dated men who were older than I am. In primary, I did not date anyone because first I was a tomboy and I do not think Ms. Lang ‘at would have appreciated me dating anyone in her school. In high school, you know those funkies we used to go to take a time out; I would never cast a stone at any of my fellow age mates. I do not know if it was because I would see them climbing buses and looking stupid or because I just never appreciated their boyish antics and or charm. I do not know. In high school I would cast my stone towards those in Campus and in Campus …I hope by now you understand the progression. They have just always been older than I was.
Now, being single opens you up to a lot of clowns, or non-clownish gentlemen. So, hearing the cry of my fellow age mates and us not paying them any mind, I decided, I will not be discriminative when it comes to age. If he acts right, speaks right and treats me right then why not? You have to know that at the back of my mind, deep in my thoughts I just knew I was about to screw myself with this new approach.
Let’s assume my new beau is if not my age maybe a year less or a year older than I. Basically he was the young guy that all of us young ladies shun. I knew I was not going to get anything out from him. I was not going to ask for money for my hair, money for my clothes or shoes, a vacation, a trip or any lavish lifestyle. I provide the first half of those for myself and I am in no hurry for the other half so I knew I could take his poverty and his miserly habits well. I was just going to approach him as a human being that I might have something meaningful with- MAYBE!
First, young men, if you are going to complain about us not even wanting to date you, do you actually want us to date? Or something else is on your mind! I understand, not every day is end month but if you are going to ask me out at least do not ask me to chill. In your house! You want a relationship with a woman but you want to treat her like your boy but with the benefits. No, I do not want to come over! No, I do not want to come and cook! No, I do not want to watch a movie on your laptop while the help asks me to raise my legs so that she can mop.
You want a relationship that is meant to be meaningful but I do not think that majority of you are ready to handle it. Most of you do not even know your own mind. Most of you cannot handle the fact that we do not want to go around with your groupies, not shower for the whole weekend because we are sleeping in the car because there is no money for an hour at a hotel for her to clean up and change. Your dates comprise of calling every other man in you ‘crew’ so that they can also call up their girls so that we can now go swimming on that afternoon that no one is drunk! Why ask for my time if you need a buffer because you cannot come up with something intelligent to say.
We have no problem coming to your house but do you even have a house because there are only two scenarios here 1. You still live with the old folks and thus I have to bend while passing at some window so that mum does not see me or 2. You are living with your friends and when I buy food they also have to take a piece of it. Let me not even get into the many ladies that you are still trying to juggle while you add me into that equation. I understand as young man you might feel fouled when you see a girl your age with a more distinguished gentleman. I also understand that you are trying to find a job and do something with yourself. It is also commendable when you do not flush your savings at some lavish dinner so that you can ‘get’ her!
At the end of the day, it all boils down to you because you cannot expect a woman who already knows her mind to come and give you her 100% while you are still figuring out where your 20% is. If you are bringing your 100% to the table then yes, let us sit down (preferably not at that miraa joint your friends like) and talk. I will bring my 100%.
The truth is, the young women have realized that the worst thing you can ever do to yourself is sit and wait, wasting your years while he figures himself out and throws you over after that aftermath. So it is just about me knowing me and going after what pleases me. Not because he is old and has money at times it is just that maturity that I am looking for. I do not like having to look if someone has weed at every police checkpoint! So, it is not you, it is just us!
Maybe this experience did not match my expectations but I will not give up on you my dear brothers. For this year alone though because I have nothing better to do than write about your antics.
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