Why do men have double standards?
02 March 2015, 15:23
Nairobi - A lot of Kenyan men I know have double standards; standards
that apply to them but cannot apply to their wives or girlfriends, standards
that only the woman should observe and standards that exist since time
immemorial but he will never apply them.
He wants a woman who is a lady, but he does not want to be
the gentleman. He wants a woman who has morals that will put a Victorian missus
to shame but his are those of an alley cat. She should be God-fearing but he
does not want to go to church with her since he is nursing a hangover. She
should not look through his phone but while he is saying that he is looking
For example; there is a male acquaintance I know who always
complains how all his exes or the women in his life go through his phone but
while he is saying that, he has borrowed my phone, is looking through my texts
and WhatsApp messages.Such double standards. This man is and forever will be
contained in the friend zone, I cannot even take him seriously when he is
displaying such little boy tendencies.
How can I as a woman uphold a set of rules that you lay down
but you, yourself cannot respect them? When you are telling me, to tell you when and if I go out, nothing
is wrong with that. But when you go out and I ask where you are going, then you
get angry because I am apparently checking on you and being too possessive;
where is the sense in that? Men too can get into accidents, or get mugged or
just encounter any form of harm. So when you tell her that you are just asking
to ensure that she is safe, why can’t she also ask for the same reason?
Creating a mountain out of a molehill, that is double standards for you.
Some Bukusu man I met this past weekend is busy telling his
cousin how his girlfriend will have to stop going out the minute they start
dating. So we ask, will he be at home with her, he says his lifestyle will
remain the same. Wait a minute. He can go out, but she will have to stay at
home warming the couch and have his dinner ready while gazing at the
television. I am not sure if that is even a standard or a bunch of neo-ice age
type of nonsense. When a man is busy voicing his stupid thought logic, as a
woman you are busy cancelling out his name from your phonebook and looking for
ways to dodge him.
If you as the man have to set standards for the woman that
you are seeing, be courteous enough to follow them and lead by example. Because
trust me, what a man can do, I woman will and can always do it better than he
will ever be able to. So Kenyan men, just lead us by example and we will follow
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