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Why do men fear the girl sitting in the bar alone?

25 November 2014, 17:24 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  There’s a lot to be said about birds of a feather flocking together and yet much can be overlooked in terms of how the people you keep around you have an impact in every facet of your life and how you conduct yourself. Not just in terms of where you spend your weekends and where you unwind at the end of the day, but the emotions, decisions and choices you make every single day of your life. It does not just apply to friends but your spouse as well. Girlfriend or wife.

Is there a reason why men are afraid of the woman sitting alone at the bar drinking a few bottles of Tusker or better yet Guinness; supposedly minding her own business.

Why is it wrong for the woman to go to the bar and not so much an opposition when the men do the same? Or is a relationship founded at the club/ the local pub already doomed?

There is always the 1% that are normally a success rate but what is wrong with the other 99% that never work out just because the woman is a clubbing/ partying and drinking ‘junkie’. She just has to be out every weekend and always has to unwind with the boys or girls at the end of everyday after a hard day at work. We can already see how this will be difficult for the local folk, the men, because while she is out who is at home? And it starts creating a cycle for you because you now keep worrying about what she is doing out there with other people while you are at home waiting or doing the chores. Hence the faulty decision making and lack of concentration on other things that would build you.

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Because let us be honest, there is nothing wrong with the odd girls night out but a girls night out every day of the week just opens up the fact that there are other opportunities out there for her and as much as she will try to restrain herself at first there will be that odd single girlfriends that pulls the rest down. Soon enough, she starts getting colder to you, is disinterested in what you want or would like and since she has the upper hand in balance of power because she knows she has other options while you are still there heavily invested in her, she now thinks she has the upper hand and will not care for what you have to say or think.

The clever man will wake up and smell the coffee and move on but there is always that or even those ones who do not see beyond her and spend valuable time chasing after her and begging her, creating too much upheaval in his life rather than concentrating those energies in building their career or future for themselves. That is why the party girl is so well feared and revered in terms of any long term relationship. Because at the end of the day she is out there looking in rather than in there with you. She chooses what part of the relationship to embrace and which ones to run away from. If it gets too tough, she knows how to get her fix out there and coming back when she is sorted after a weekend out while you are there trying to figure out if you have actually solved anything or just swept it under the rug.

The men never seem to learn, rarely do people change and chances are, he will keep looking for that ideal girl in the club and by the time he realizes he has wasted a huge chunk of valuable energy giving time and chasing after each of these women, there is a load of chaos and disorder in his life that he is not even sure of how to fix.

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