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Why are women rebellious?

27 March 2015, 16:19 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I have a very rebellious nature. If my parents told me not to do something, I would do it just because they said not to. In most cases the thought had not even crossed my mind until they brought it up.

Note to self: avoid bringing up some things with my children unless they bring it up first. That is called parenting skills learnt from my parents. I got suspended both in primary and high school. Do not even ask what would get someone suspended in primary. In Campus, I spent most of my time away from there that must be what had saved me from the same predicament. Strathmore does not joke around.

I think me and my husband will lock horns. If he tells me you cannot see so and so, with no good reason, I will most definitely see so and so. Most probably they might not have been on my agenda but the fact that you brought them up makes me itch just to disobey you. If he tells me I cannot do something, I will definitely do it as long as it does not make me lose my self-respect, in my head I am thinking what is it to him. Telling me I cannot go out but that is your ritual, did you marry me to babysit a lonesome house? And why do you get to get away with it?

That is the problem we have with submission, giving us protocols yet you cannot follow them.

A man tells his wife to stay at home, take care of the children and be a housewife. By the way a lot of women may not have a problem with that. The problem comes in when you start acting like we can now get manna from heaven. You said you will be the breadwinner, she did not have a problem with that until you start rationing her household allowance. In some cases you do not even want to take care of the obligations. Surely, you do not expect them to take care of themselves? What is, ‘sina pesa.’ You know very well that she is staying at home at your decision so when she asks for something, it is your duty to provide.  Do not start frowning and complaining that she is not submissive when she decides to go back to work. Your actions spoke louder than words.

I find it hard to follow the advice/ rules of a person that is preaching water but is guzzling wine.  I respect and will willingly submit to someone who will follow their own protocols. Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. I elected you meaning that we are in a democratic holding. Women do not become donkeys just because they are with you. Your idea of how a wife should behave should be enhanced by how you behave as my husband. You deny your wife a single outing yet you want her to be the one to drag you from the doorstep, figure out how to help get you into bed or even start cooking dinner at that enraging hour. Do not be surprised when you take leave from your usual ritual and find out that she created time for herself to be out enjoying herself and no dinner is on the table. That is when those funny phone calls start coming in,’ Kumbe hivi ndio wewe hufanya kama siko?’

Point of correction, she started doing after you forgot about her.

If you want a submissive wife, it is not a math equation by the way. Be someone that she can respect and submit to too. That is how you create balance in a relationship. We are not saying that we also want to go out and get drunk to the wee hours. We know we are married, and marriage life is different from single life. Thing is we need a husband that will hold our hands along the way. I do not want to be walking and turn around only to realize that I am alone talking to myself. I will obviously go and look for fellow great minds since yours is no longer around.

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