Why I don't listen to my mum at times
09 October 2015, 12:51
Nairobi - ‘They mess you up, your mum and dad. They do not mean to but
they fill you up with the faults they had and add some more just for you!’
The best part of watching Criminal Minds is when I get to
hear such inspiring, ‘hit the nail on the head’, and touching quotes. They
resonate with me so well and I do not have to dig. That is how you know I am
smart. I do not watch shows just to but to get something out of it.
Last week my mother told me to send my CV to some bank for a
bank teller job. There is nothing wrong with being a teller, just that I know
myself, I know that that job is not for me and it was also canvassing not that
she already knew someone that would get it for me. Did I tell her that to her
face? No! I once had a drum thrown at me in high school; I do not feel like
playing that game anymore.
I know for a fact that my parents do not know me and my
mother does not either. She knows I am crazy talented but her goal in that is
not to nurture it but to make it into something that will be enough to pay my
rent. Do I dislike her? No! I choose to understand her.
As a parent, maybe I can help you avoid the mistake of
trying to make your child normal. Average. Just like everybody else. At times
you are not even aware because you want the best for your child but you forget
that it is about them and not what you want. I cannot tell you that you are a
bad parent because of it but I would encourage you to continue thinking that
way but ask first. The situation is not as big as you would like to make it out
to be. Children see things because of the fact that they see them for what they
are and not prejudiced but what society would like them to feel and be.
I go on Instagram and I see a mother dressing her child in
the same outfit she has on so that they can take a picture. For what and for
whom? It is fun but if the child did not want to take part in it, you are
projecting yourself to them. Children want to be individuals, speak their minds
and at times they are brighter than even you, the parent. You would never know
that though because you are busy trying to make them into a version of you.
What you would have liked to be. What you wanted to do but couldn’t and what
society did not allow you to be.
The greats are not great because they did what their parents
told them. If anything they just might have had a bad relationship with their
parents at some point because they went against orders until they made a
success of it. Talk to your child and understand them, they might just be the
next best thing before you ruin it. They might ask for direction but they do
not need dictatorship.
My sister is sitting for her KCPE this year. She was acting
out and did not want to read. She was not even interested. My mother wanted to punish her but I told her not to. I just went and told my sister, ‘you know
what? Read if you want to or don’t read. It is your choice because at the end
of the day you are in your room and you can pretend to be reading. But remember
this, you are the one that is going to get her results and you know the schools
you have chosen. You are the one that might miss a school or might just get
one. You like good things and you are not a survivor (we all know those
survivor schools in Kenya). Read, don’t read. That is four years of your life.
I allowed my sister to make a choice for herself and be
dedicated to you what she wants.
Sit your child down and help them make a choice. If they
know discipline, you do not have a problem. If they don’t, it is your fault.
That is the reason why when you have sex you don’t do it with someone weak
because you get a child and you will need someone to help. You do not want to
see your son in matchy outfits with
the mum posing and you do not want to see your daughter in the cot while her
mum is with posing with some man.
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