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Why I am still single

25 March 2015, 15:22 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There is no shortage of men in Kenya, let alone Nairobi. Yes, I want a Nairobian, a modern man who will not ask me to eat Ugali 24/7. Someone I can feed whatever I want and will appreciate it.

My father has to eat Ugali every night, and it had better not be in a hotpot. It has to be cooked fresh as soon as he gets home. If he gets home at midnight, one or eleven at night; wake up and cook that Ugali.  The beauty of it is that, he does not eat food cooked by a house help, my mother passed the duty to us. She says she did her part now it is our turn, it is like we are the ones who helped her choose her husband. Most times I just pretend to be asleep. I did not tell him to stay out until late.

I do not see myself as too demanding either; I take care of myself. So your money is safe from any financial obligation towards me. All I require from you is the odd date when I can spare you my time. I do not shout, I could barely scream to save my life. I realized this when once I was at home and some clever thief decided to canvass our homestead as he assumed no one was at home. So I walk out and he sees me, I also see him but the best I could do was just fold my hands and give him a dirty look. It must have been so good because he dropped all he had found from the store and jumped back out. I was not able to scream.

I do not know how to nag, but I do know how to manipulate with silent treatment. You will also have to bear with me because at times I get into my own head and forget that you are even there. I do not see the need for a pointless conversation when silence is better. But I heard men like women who do not chatter. So why am I still single? I will tell you why.

As I am writing this article I sat in a room full of men. As I look around, there is no one I would consider dating (there is one staring at me very hard). Maybe if he looks hard enough I might prove to be what he wants me to be. Are my standards too high? Maybe. Probably. I am a woman who refuses to settle. There is a lot that I have no choice in but in the rare cases that I do like this one, I take my time. If I have to spend my time, day or life with someone they had better be worth it. Otherwise that is a waste of good conversation, companionship, time and even money. What did you think, that just because you are paying for the date, I am not spending anything? To look this good, a lot of money goes into it.

I also refuse the idea of going online to look for a date. I meet enough frauds in my daily transaction. I would be a fool to choose to spend my life with one. Some of these people are not who they say they are. Also I have not reached that point that I am that desperate to be looking over people’s profiles. The best ones are found underneath a haystack.

Who you end up with is also a reflection of yourself. I have a very high opinion of myself, sorry to say. I know what I want and it is proving to be very hard to find. An ambitious man, who knows what he wants in life. Will not waste my time playing games with me or have over-excessive baggage (children, deranged exes and interfering relatives) is harder to find than you would think. Woe unto me to rush into something and make these discoveries after a hooked line and sinker. I am not in a rush. No matter how many of my people post how pregnant they are, are getting married or engaged; I am not in a rush.

As I mentioned earlier, I need an open minded individual. I like cooking but I also like experimenting. Meaning you will be my food guinea pig. At times it will backfire, at times it will be good. You need to be open minded and not come to me with how you think I should start cooking like your mother, or a former girlfriend. Most of these Kenyan men think rice is an appetizer, after they finished eating they look at you wondering when you are serving the main course. It was served already.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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