Where most ladies get it wrong
08 October 2015, 12:00
Nairobi - Your ego gets in the way. The roles you played while dating;
cooking a meal for him, making breakfast before you both leave, doing his
laundry while you did yours and just taking care of him basically, it all goes
out the window because you realize you are not the help. Yet you still expect
him to do the same things he used to do for you: an M-Pesa cash flow, money for
your hair, nails, shoes and everything, maybe loan you his car when you go out
for lunch with the girls-he can walk, and take you out on surprise dates. Well,
that is a double standard! If you did not want to do any of that after the fact
then you should have never done it from the beginning.
I was recently reading something on social media and as
usual the best place to go is the comments because they are always insightful
(and funny). The post asked, ‘Your man asks you to prepare a plate for him, you
refuse but another women sees him without food and makes him a plate. What
would you do?’Obviously you can already tell what majority of the women said.
Just think about today’s dating culture and outlook on how relationships and
marriage look like and you have already guessed what most comments said. There
were the ones that said the man should make his own plate because he has legs
to walk to the table like her, eyes to see where the food was and hands to hold
the food himself. In fact he should make her a plate as well while he was at
it. Then there were the ones who would beat him up if he dared eat anything on
the plate and beat her because she dared bring him one.
So you are in a good relationship, with a good man who goes
out of his way to make sure you are okay and treats you well but something
simple like that turns you into a maniac that fights for equality within your
own relationship? But you still expect him to do the same things he has always
done for you. Nothing wrong with equality but if your relationship matters to
you, you need to know how to straddle the fence and how. It is cool when your
girls will tell you, stick for yourself and he cannot dare but remember they
are not your boyfriend and they will not marry you at the end.
Taking care of your partner does not make you a maid or the
help. It is not you being inferior in the relationship; t is you showing
respect and being courteous to your mate as they are to you. If they are not
then you are in the wrong relationship.
Such simple things are the reason we choose our partners and be with
them, not because we need but because we want that. One good turn just deserves another. Do not
forget the reason why he chose you!
On the other hand, you can be angry at me for saying this,
get mad at my opinion and argue that I am one of those women that are bringing
other women down. Look at it this way, when you have a child you now have a
duty to care and nurture that child. So when you decide to get a husband/
boyfriend it is not a choice of duties. It is a give and take. You are
accepting to take the role of what his woman should be doing in his life just
as you accept that you need to care for your child and future family. If still
opposed please do not be surprised when you are single or when no one sticks
around for you. What you are not doing someone else is.
Treat your man like a king and he will treat you like a
queen. Make it an agreement at the start of your relationship so that none of
you forgets what role they play. Don’t expect to get the perfect end result;
marriage, if you do not earn it.
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